How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: N/A | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Captain and Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville

Security guard's office. He scolds Robin and Barney for thinking they're so clever as they not-so-discreetly touch everything on this desk. He tells them about all the pranks this museum's seen, so they've got nothing. He ends, "One time a kid knocked down a blue whale." Robin stops him and asks if he said someone knocked down the blue whale. He says it wasn't just someone: it was a six-year-old. "That story is legen--" His phone rings and he asks them to hold on while he silences it. Then: "--dary." I don't have to tell you how much Barney's loving this. Barney asks if he happens to know what the young man's name was. The guard doesn't, but he could check the files.

Back out in the main room, The Captain's being applauded and says he sang three songs, so now Arthur should do his part from Guys and Dolls. Poor Arthur says "Take your seats, everyone. The show's about to start." Well, hey, it's better than most assistant stage managers get to do. He calls The Captain a "douche" and walks off. The Captain finds Ted moping on a bench and joins him. He says he heard his wife got him pretty good, and Ted says she caught him on tape trashing GNB. The Captain says it's not easy to be married to that recorder, either, since she can prove what he's promised her all the time. The Captain tells Ted: "You're a good guy, Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville." He says that when Zoey goes to sleep, he'll find the tape and erase it. Ted asks if he'll really do that to his own wife, and The Captain says he's glad she has these little causes to keep her out of trouble, but when she throws a temper tantrum, it gets in the way of someone doing their job. Ted tells him not to worry about erasing the tape, because he doesn't think she's throwing temper tantrums; just standing up for what she believes in. Ted respects that. The Captain changes the subject to his boat, which is breath-taking. Saget!Ted reminds us of that secret whisper spot in that room of the museum as the camera pans back to show a sad-looking Zoey, who apparently heard the whole conversation.

Security guard's office. He's reading from the files: "July 23, 1981, incident report." Robin: "No." Barney: Big smile. The security guard continues, with lots of "No"ing from Robin and smiling from Barney as he details the story Barney told earlier. Then, finally, he gets to the name: Barney Stinson. Barney gloats and Robin's like, "No!" But the guard's not done: "Stinson was reprimanded and returned to the custody of his father, Jerome Whitaker." Barney corrects him that it was his uncle, but the security guy says he signed it and checked the box for "father." Barney scoffs that Jerry's his uncle, but the sappy music tells us he's really not.

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How I Met Your Mother

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