How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 1 USERS: A+
I Won't Grow Up

MacLaren's: Robin and Barney are sitting in the booth recording one of those cloyingly cute couples messages on his phone. When they're done, he calls over to Ted, who is still seated at the bar. "Leave an annoying two-person message on your answering machine? Check!" He mutters to Robin that it will probably cost him some dates, but I'm thinking it might land him one, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. When he turns to look over his shoulder closest to Robin, she fights her urge to recoil in disgust. "Barney, your ear's starting to smell." Barney says it's good and the camera pans to Ted at the bar. He's back to being a duke, which we can tell because he's sending back his turkey sandwich, because it's just not lean enough. Goodbye, wise-ass Ted. I think I'll miss you most of all. After the waitress glares at him and takes the sandwich back to the kitchen (to spit in it, yeah?), Robin and Barney approach Ted with their own list. Barney's still hunched over and holding onto his back as Robin explains: "This is a list of things you're too young to do. Go out and do each one of these things, and then tell me you still want to be an old man." Ted tells them that if they remove "colonoscopy" and "have sex with an old lady," it's nearly done. Barney nods and changes the stakes. If Barney finishes the Murtaugh list before Ted finishes the old man list, Ted has to TP Club Laser Tag with him and buy the toilet paper. If Ted finishes first, Barney will listen Ted's "six-hour survey of early 20th century American architecture." They repeat the Gentleman's Agreement and Huzzah act, which drives Barney to his knees in pain. He's holding his ear, even as he drops.

The School Gym: Lily and Marshall keep having the same argument about kindergarten sports philosophy. Lily wants to know what "sociopath" taught Marshall "this way." It's his dad, of course, who won't let him in the house until Marshall scores on him in one-on-one. Back in the present, Marshall says, "My father gave me no quarter and I asked for no quarter... I've got to call that guy!" He then browbeats his players, again, which is getting kind of old, if you ask me.

Ted's apartment: Ted dons reading glasses and then checks the associated item off the list. And shut up, but either the dates on pennies have gotten much smaller, or I think I need reading glasses. He peers over his and at the list. "Yell at neighborhood kids." He removes the glasses, hangs them from the neck of his sweater, makes an angry face and growls, "My pleasure." Right there with you, Ted. Hi, neighbors! You can yell at my kids, too. He's interrupted by Barney and Robin's return to the apartment. Barney blew out his knee while helping someone move out of a sixth floor walk-up, "in exchange for pizza and beer." Robin frets that what they really helped was a robbery, since the people who were "moving" left all the pictures hanging on the walls -- which is funny, considering how, back in "Intervention," Robin bragged about never saving any pictures. Look how far she's come! Barney's counting the event as good enough for the list, and I don't blame him. He then waves the list around. "Now, I am off to 'Dye my hair a funny color' and then we are going to 'Go to a rave'." He and Robin do a cute techno-beat thing I can't recap, because that's on my Murtaugh list. Ted notices it's 4:00 PM. "Suppertime!" We cut to...

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How I Met Your Mother




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