How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 1 USERS: A+
I Won't Grow Up

The next morning, Barney wakes up on the futon in Ted's living room, with a back ache. We cut to MacLaren's, where he's at the booth, hunched over nearly as badly as my uncle who had Spondylitis. Reading from the list, he says, "'Drinking shots with strangers'? Check!" Sitting next to Robin at the bar, Ted heckles Barney's pain. I like wise-ass Ted. Barney says he's just rocking a "party hunch" which brings him closer to his booze. He proposes a toast "to youth," and while the strangers drink, Barney struggles to find a way to do so without straightening up. He eventually moans for a straw. My uncle actually had to get a special cup. Robin admires how Barney is clinging to youth. She wonders who wants to get old. Ted does the old two-thumbs and says, "This guy." He's no Jim Halpert, though. I'm just sayin'... Ted says, "Life is a meal and old age is the dessert." He basically can't wait until everything has already happened. Robin drives home the point that both she and this season have been trying to make: "You can't just jump to the end. The journey is the best part." Ted pooh-poohs her, and we jump to...

The School Gym: When Lily calls Marshall out for picking on the kids, Marshall argues that he's not picking on them. "I'm picking on the culture of losing around here. I've got to get them in shape if they're gonna win that game tomorrow." Lily laughs, because there's no winning in kindergarten basketball. They don't even keep score. Marshall's enraged. He can't imagine the point of playing without keeping score. He asks Lily what she was doing with the team before he took on coaching. She says she was coaching them, and we sideways slide to an earlier scene in the gym. Lily's got a guitar in her lap and strums it while she calls the kids "little angels" and "luminous, wonderful beings of light." Those who aren't sitting or lying down on the gym floor are doing things like running around in capes. At least three of them have a basketball, and another is throwing a football. As a parent, allow me to say this is a pretty accurate depiction of kindergartners who are supposed to be doing anything at all. When a kid asks her the score, she says, "It's all tied up at Fun to Fun!" When we sideways slide back to the present, where she tells Marshall about how everyone gets a participation trophy. He's disgusted. "It's like you're speaking Chinese to me right now." And we cut to...

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How I Met Your Mother




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