How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
I Won't Grow Up

Theme Song!

Ted's Apartment: When Marshall asks Barney what he's going to do about getting kicked out of Laser Tag, Barney says that he and Ted are going to break into the club after hours, and TP the place. Ted says they're not only too old for TPing Club Laser Tag; they're too old for Laser Tag, itself. In fact, Ted decides to add an item to his "Murtaugh List" which is named in honor of Danny Glover's Lethal Weapon character, Roger Murtaugh. It's a list of things Ted's now too old to do. He started it around the time he turned 30, and mistakenly thought he was still young enough to chug from a beer bong. In his 20s, Ted would have been happy and energetic after a night of beer-bonging. But at 30, while suffering his worst hangover ever, he realized the only person he could relate to was Detective Murtaugh, who is known for his quotable catch-phrase, "I'm too old for this shit." Only Saget!Ted busts in and changes "shit" to "stuff," because while he thinks it's just fine to tell his kids about Barney's sexcapades, and throw the word douche around willy-nilly, he would never, eeeeeeeeever say "shit" in front of his teen-aged children. What's up with that shit? Ted shares more items from the list, like pulling an all-nighter. Marshall imitates Murtaugh. "I'm too old for that stuff." Ted mentions eating a pizza in one sitting. Marshall groans, "I'm too old for that stuff." Ted says, "Or hanging posters on your wall without frames." Marshall growls, "Riggs. Riggs!" Jason Segel can't keep a straight face. "I'm too old for that stuff." He drops the Murtaugh imitation and adds, "By the way, how good is Lethal Weapon?"

The gang all agrees about Lethal Weapon, except for Robin, who wants to set up the made-up Canadian joke of the week. "Oh, I don't know. It's kind of a rip-off. Old guy paired up with a young, renegade cop. Sound familiar?" The gang looks at her with curiosity. "MacElroy and LeFleur." There's no response, so she adds, "Don't tell me you guys have never seen MacElroy and LeFleur? It's the greatest Canadian action movie of all time!" Well, there you go. Even Barney rolls his eyes at her, but Robin will not be deterred. "MacElroy is a young, renegade Mountie, whose horse was just killed by evil Americans, while LeFleur, his grouchy old, African-Canadian partner, just bought a cozy ice-fishing shack in northern Alberta." While Barney and Ted start to argue her down, Marshall says he has to dash. Lily returns from the kitchen, where she may have been doing dishes, which hardly seems fair since she no longer lives there. She wishes him luck at "practice." He's now coaching her kindergarten class's basketball team. He thought it would be fun. Lily thought it would be good dad practice. But from future Ted's perspective, Marshall is a ridiculous hard-ass with the little ones, while Lily is so soft and flighty, she makes Glinda the Good Witch look like a shrew. When she brings the team orange slices for a snack, Marshall won't let the "little turds" have any because "oranges are for winners," while they haven't even sunk a basket. He then subjects them to suicide sprints. So much for "Coach Marshmallow."

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How I Met Your Mother

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