How I Met Your Mother

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Cindy McLennan: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Jesus Take The Wheel

Ted and Henrietta cuddle. She feeds him chocolate cake. She gives him long, sensual foot rubs. Saget!Ted: "I'm not proud, kids."

Back at MacLaren's, Robin explains the psychology of keeping someone on the hook, for people new to this planet. "It's a nice little ego boost." Ted reminds her that she's keeping her cameraman, Mike (Don Nicolosi), on the hook, too. Robin denies it. We flash back to...

The Apartment: Robin is eating chocolate cake while Mike massages her feet. When he suggests taking it to the next level, Robin says, "Well, if you're talking about doing my laundry, I'm on board." Mike says she's got herself a deal. Ted, who is sitting at his desk, rolls his eyes, in the background. Meanwhile, Scott and I give serious consideration to bringing Mike on as a third partner.

MacLaren's: When Robin won't accept the idea that she's keeping Mike on the hook., Ted tells her she is Captain Hook. I keep waiting for them to reference season one, but they don't. Instead, Robin says, "Dude, I'm a girl, okay? Our girl parts are like a spider web. Sometimes you're going to catch stuff you don't want." Marshall cringes. Lily shakes Robin off. I gag. Ted ignores the unfortunately worded comparison and tries to hammer home his point, but Robin brings the conversation back to Henrietta. Ted declares he's going to call her up and hang out with her tonight. "As friends!"

Henrietta's Home: Henrietta (Catherine Reitman) opens the door and when Ted gives her a casual, "Hey," she replies, "I love you." She quickly covers. Well, sort of. She offers him a foot rub and tries to tempt him by explaining she's been practicing on herself. Oy, I almost need to watch this from the hall. Henrietta mentions she "threw together" a few things to eat. Her "few things" include a fricking ice sculpture, people. Enough said.

Saget!Ted admits he should have known Henrietta was madly in love with him. But then, current-day Ted's phone rings. It's Tiffany, who wants to know if he'll be her date for a wedding this weekend. Ted asks her what she's doing right now. Henrietta says, "Oh, God," but Ted doesn't notice, on account of the huge hook obscuring his vision. Since Tiffany is free, Ted leaves Henrietta, her ice sculpture, her crudités, her cheese plate and other hors d'œuvre. With a "Take a rain check, pal?" and a punch on the arm, he's gone. As Henrietta rubs her sore arm, Saget!Ted opines: "What a jerk!" Once he's gone, Henrietta's adorable parents come out, hoping to meet Ted. Henrietta snips, "Yeah, something came up, okay, Mom?" After she stomps off to her room, Dad (Garrett Nichols) says, "I told you there was no Ted." Mom (Roz Witt) shakes her head. Off screen, Henrietta yells, "I heard that." Mom elbows Dad. Heh.

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How I Met Your Mother

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