How I Met Your Mother

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It's A Christmas Miracle

Later, at Ted's, Barney talks about how this has been like a diamond-suit for his soul, so he's taking the rest of his bonus to "God's strip club." Saget!Ted tells us that Barney paid a visit the next day to the most charitable man he knew: Sam Gibbs, Wayne Brady's father, who's a reverend in Long Island. Barney shows up at his church and tells him he'd like to give some money to charity. Sam wonders if that's the name of the stripper Barney's been e-mailing about, and he'd like to be taken of that list, please. ("Barney. I'm a minister. Unsubscribe.") But Barney's talking about real charity, and Sam says he has a program that helps people in need get back on their feet, with clothes, job interviews, etc. Barney starts writing a check. He writes a 1 and four zeroes, then gets Lily's text. So he adds a decimal point and gives Sam the check for one hundred dollars. Sam thinks that's great. But when Barney shows up in a diamond suit at the movie, Ted clearly doesn't. And then Barney asks Ted to spot him for the movie, because he doesn't like to carry a lot of cash on him.

After more commercials, Ted again gets to ask what happened to a plan. Barney tells him that was back when Lily was having the baby, duh. Then he, in his glittery suit, tells Ted he looks ridiculous with his gingerbread house, and what's up with that? Ted's clearly annoyed no one's into his Christmas-themed snack. Barney makes a disgusting joke about a gingerbread house -- something about cutting a hole in the floor and her reaching in for the tree. Barney asks where Marshall and Lily are.

So Saget!Ted cuts us back again to them finding out they're pregnant, being blissful for about two seconds, then heading to tell the gang. While there, they start having freak-out thoughts, and can hear each other's, of course. But the others can't, because they're all up in their own heads with drama. Back at home, they decide to make a list of everything they have to do before the baby comes, and do it all TONIGHT! So they paint the baby's room, learn to knit, read baby books, play classical music for the baby, etc. Covered in paint and crazy, they realize it's time to go meet the gang at MacLaren's to celebrate. They scream that they have to keep it together in front of the gang. Then cut to their moment of peacefulness and Marshall saying he's never been happier. Cut to them screaming some more, in their track suits, about what a nightmare this is and how Lily's accidentally left the iPod on shuffle so the baby's listening to The Jerky Boys instead of classical music. They get in a fight, and realize they don't like this. Marshall says it's like he has a hot, burning ball of stress inside him and nothing will make it go away. Cut to the doctor once again giving them the not-pregnant news. Marshall: "Well, that did it." They pretend to be bummed out for the doctor's sake.

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How I Met Your Mother

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