How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | Grade It Now!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Saget!Ted sets the scene, telling us that this is the story of two blind dates, "One in 2009, one seven years earlier." We flash between shots of goateed 2002 Ted and clean-shaven 2009 Ted running through his dating routine, which Saget admits hadn't changed much over the years. Both versions of him knock on the same door, and meet the same woman -- Jen. Yep, Ted has lapped his own self on the dating scene. In 2009, neither one remembers the other, so they set off happily on their (second) first date. I wonder who set them up.

Theme song!

MacLaren's: Barney tells Marshall, Lily and Robin that he just got four tickets to the "Origins of Chewbacca" Star Wars exhibit. Marshall is over the moon. The girls are over Chewbacca. Robin says, "Isn't it a little early in our relationship to be doing something that would end our relationship?" We cut to...

A Ranjit-less cab: Marshall's hoping there'll be a Wookiee-to-English dictionary at the convention and just generally being adorable, so after flashbacks of Barney "kidnapping" a Wookiee-costumed Ted to take him to view a lethal injection (front row seats!), Barney breaks the news to Marshall that they're going to a...

Strip Club: Barney says that Lily has taken all the man out of Marshall, and he's going to show him how it's possible to be in a relationship while having fully functioning male genetalia. On network TV -- in primetime? I'll believe it when I see, Barn. Barney's convinced Robin would be perfectly fine with the evening's activities, and we cut to...

Restaurant; 2009: Ted asks Jen what she does for a living. She's between jobs. "Banking crisis." He should lean on Barney to get Jen a job at GNB. In the flashback to 2002, Jen is between jobs, thanks to the internet bubble burst. I wonder if she can recap, because already, I'm not feeling this episode. 2002 Ted douches about how he's an architect. 2009 Ted is much less flowery in his admission that he teaches architecture.

Strip Club: Marshall admits to Barney that even when he starts to have a sexy thought about another woman, he feels too guilty -- it's too much like cheating on Lily. All the woman say, "Awwww." All the men say, "Bullshit." We flashback to last week. Feeling guilty about his fleeting attraction to a pretty delivery woman, Marshall fantasizes about Lily contracting, "A rare and fatal hiccup disorder that's apparently medically legitimate." Fantasy Marshall weeps at the news and stays right by her bedside. After six months, Fantasy Marshall tries to cure her disorder by popping a paper bag and startling her -- to no avail. Fantasy Lily tells him "It's time, baby." When Fantasy Marshall weeps that he'll never love again, Fantasy Lily tells him that he must -- and that after an appropriate number of years he should find someone else. "Someone like that busty delivery girl from that one time -- and plow her like a cornfield." She hiccups thrice, and then no more. Alas, poor Lily. Coincidentally, Fantasy Minister at Fantasy Lily's funeral tells Fantasy Marshall the very same thing Fantasy Lily said on her deathbed (no, really, right down to the cornfield). A title card informs is that it's an appropriate number of years later: Marshall is constructing miniature furniture (like for dollhouses) when the very same busty delivery girl arrives at the door. Fantasy Marshall looks heavenward and says, "This one's for you, Lil," before tearing open his shirt and nibbling her neck. Back in the strip club, real Marshall ends his reverie with a, "And then, watch out, because It Is ON!" He holds up his hand waiting for a high five from Barney, who tells him, "That is the saddest thing I've ever heard." And Marshall, when Barney can't high-five your sexual fantasies, they are sad. Eventually, Barney tells Marshall he will be the "wingman of [his] mind," and that he needs to put Lily completely out of said mind, and just focus on the next stripper.

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How I Met Your Mother




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