How I Met Your Mother

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Hello. I Love You. Won't You Tell Me Your Name?

Flashback to MacLaren's. The gang is hanging out, when suddenly, Lily says, "Rhinoceros," but to my chagrin, Marshall fails to reply, "Imposserous," and instead makes their excuses, fooling exactly no one that they're going off to have sex. Lily's annoyed that they now need a new code word.

The phone rings and Barney freaks, because it's her. He tries to play it all smooth and casual, but Robin seems rushed and stressed and doesn't have time for small talk. She says, "You called and went, 'Aaahheushuhaa', and hung up." Barney pleads with Lily for help. She tells him to ask Robin something, so he asks how she's feeling today. She adds to ask something personal, so Barney asks Robin at what age she first got her period. See, isn't that romantic? Like me, Robin's annoyed. Lily coaches Barney to just ask her out. He starts to, then freezes, ends the call abruptly and tries to play it off to Lily like it was all a practical joke on her, and that he never had feelings for Robin. He points out the cameras hidden in his living room, and then takes off for another room, because even he's not buying what he's selling. Lily sits on the couch, wondering what she's going to do with him, and then we see a shot of her in black and white, with a counter super-imposed on the bottom of the screen, as she realizes there really are cameras in Barney's living room. She's grossed out, and pulls her blazer tight around her chest.

Ted and Stella are sitting on his couch. She tells him the first movie she ever saw was Benji, in 1981. He tells her he first saw Star Wars with his dad at an old Drive-In. She's never seen Star Wars, because she grew up in a galaxy far, far away.

At MacLaren's, Marshall is even more shocked by this news than Ted and I were. Marshall uses this as proof that Ted doesn't know Stella well enough. What if he shows her the film and she doesn't like it. Ted denies he's worried. He plays it off like, "Dude, it's just a movie." Marshall insists it's a text of how compatible they are. Flash forward to their apartment, to what the title card tells us is "121 awesome minutes later." Ted and Marshall are mesmerized by the TV and Ted says, "Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie, I can't marry her." Marshall agrees and they watch it again, because that's the way they couch potato.

We open on the exterior of a restaurant and bar, which is all I know, because that's all the sign outside says. Inside, Lily, looking great in a navy blue cocktail dress, follows Barney to the dining room. He turns to her. "Wait, where are the boys? I thought this was a group thing." Lily lied -- set him up to have a date with Robin because despite Robin's great body, she's not in love with her, Barney is. He's concerned Robin sees him as a womanizer. When Lily encourages him to show her the other side of Barney she met the other day, which I take it has nothing to do with a sex swing (I still don't want to know), Barney says, "You mean the insecure, touchy-feely she-male who sounded alarmingly close to Ted?"

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How I Met Your Mother

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