How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: A- | 1 USERS: A
Swiper, No Swiping

The gang knocks on Zoey's door and she seems pleased to see everyone, except Ted. Still, they all go in, Ted gets to work on the Turturkeykey and Marshall gets a text back from random number guy. The text turns out to be a picture of that guy's junk. Lily make a "boomerwang" joke. Robin is fascinated by Wang Guy, and thinks his junk is quite impressive. Barney goes to get ice, but he's afraid of missing something. Steve assures him that interesting things only happen when The Blitz goes out of the building, not just the room. And who would doubt someone who was saddled with this curse for years? Not Barney. So Steve takes a coin, flips it and it lands on its edge. When Barney comes walking in, the coin falls, and thus he missed the laws of physics being defied. "Aw, man." Turns out that Steve lied so he could see something cool happen. Steve: "Sorry, I was on that island for what seems like eternity. I'm going to enjoy things on the other side." Yes, Hurley, but there was a golf course and some Dharma-van joyriding. It wasn't all running from smoke monsters and crazed Others.

Barney desperately offers Robin various amounts of money to be the Blitz, settling on 60 bucks, because that's a lot of money for someone like her. Marshall says you can't buy and sell that sort of thing, Zoey zings that it isn't like Ted's integrity. He snaps back that she's sporting a ginormous diamond, so pot meet kettle. There's some banter, he gets called a "master baster," she gets called a witch. Steve just continues to interject how awesome this all is. He's practically a sideline reporter at this point. Lily tells Ted to give Zoey a chance. Ted doesn't think they will ever become friends. Robin decides to consult Wang guy, since he's bold, uninhibited and totally unbiased. He thinks enemies can become friends. He also quotes Ghandi. Barney thinks since he heard this exchange that he's freed from the Blitz, since Zoey was out of the room, but Steve says no, and he's just being annoying. He gets huffy and then shouts that he slept with the cute Indian girl who cuts his hair, just so he has something to brag about. Ted says that he won't ever like Zoey, only her oven, and when he turns to head to the kitchen, he spills cranberry sauce all over Zoey's white sweater. It nearly escalates into a food fight, but Lily starts making up cartoon peace treaties to compare them to. This leads Ted to call Zoey Cinderella's evil stepmother, and Zoey kicks everyone out. Guess that zing hit a little too close to home. Mean, Ted. Just mean.

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How I Met Your Mother




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