The Cost of Living

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 24 USERS: C
Then Again, Maybe I Won't
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


Vanessa talked the current VP into naming her as his running mate when the current President dies, which is never going to happen anyway. But she did it so slickly that we thought she was either talking about Colonel Blair, or possibly Leonardo DiCaprio. So I'm very glad they replayed that in the Previouslies for this episode or else it would have made no sense at all, rather than being the taut literary thriller we've all come to expect. Meanwhile, G-Man put Sandra Dee in charge of being the Mole inside Team Duncan…by offering her money, which turns out is a motivator for her. Then the Sanders all got locked up for the day so Duncan Carlisle could save the President to kill the President, which went so well that Duncan and Ellen made out, and then he was suddenly kidnapped.


Duncan: "So it is you, G-Man Logan, who kidnapped me. Even though I am working for you and we are shopping buddies. But there are other ways to get my attention, sir. In the words of Kim Possible..."
G-Man: "You are in huge fucking trouble with everybody for stopping our assassination from assassinating your assassination and then assassinating your team of assassins."
Duncan: "And you're in huge trouble for messing with me! Duncan Carlisle!"

Blair: "I'm Colonel Blair. A patsy just like everybody else in this Mary Kay pyramid scheme of kidnapping and murder."
Duncan: "Sorry I messed up your plan to murder me, in the most obscure and complicated possible fashion. But I guess now that I'm tied to this chair you can just cut to the chase."
Blair: "Wait, do you think I should kill you right now, because it's convenient?"
Duncan: "If you are asking my professional opinion, no. You should let me go."
Blair: "Okay you can go."

And then he fucking just ... does. Duncan goes home, and it's so goddamn stupid.


Ellen: "So you look tousled from being kidnapped for five seconds. Do you want to fuck me in this kitchen?"
Duncan: "No, because we are both married. It is my whole deal."
Ellen: "Oh yeah well I was just kidding anyway."
Duncan: "Were you, though?"
Ellen: "...No."

Tate: "Listen, I have to go talk to the cops, okay?"
Archer: "Uh, that is the opposite of okay. How are you still not clear on this?"

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