Hostages
2:45 P.M.

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 20 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Dig Your Own Hole
Ellen: "I am going to think about this so hard later, because of our marriage crumbling. Guess what, I went to the White House today."
Tate: "How fulfilling for you in your life! I better go cheat on you immediately. In the meantime, I just want you to know that I resent the shit out of you, this opportunity, and our life together."

NOW

Ellen: "But I didn't see the clues! Or, you know, notice him explicitly explaining all of this, without even bothering to use euphemisms for his misogyny."

SCHOOL

Where is Jake? Nobody knows. Morgan gets so antsy waiting for him, in whatever abandoned cabin they have on campus for kids to do surgery on each other, that she tries to chop into her own meat by herself. That plan is abandoned pretty much instantly, and she runs back into the school.

Busybody: "Morgan, shouldn't you be in a class? Because this is school."
Morgan: "I am just looking for my brother to cut up, excuse me."
Kevin: "I don't know where your brother is. Maybe behind the bleachers?"

He is! He is smoking with marijuana cigarettes back there! That explains why he is dressed like the Dead Poet's Society, it is because he is a real cool rebel.

Morgan: "Get your prep school ass out of that burnout collection and get a move on."
Jake: "It isn't what it looks like!"
Morgan: "First of all, it is. And second of all, what makes you think I give a shit? I'm not being hardcore because I care that you're a rough customer, it's that we had an appointment for me to slice into your flesh and then run away to Canada."

TATER

Tate: "Jump-Off Samantha, please take this envelope of passports to another building. That way nobody will see me do it, as was explained in graphic detail earlier."
Samantha: "What's in it? Is it drugs? Is it Cheetos?"
Tate: "No, it's just passports."
Samantha: "I sure do love me some Cheetos. And drugs."

They talk about it AGAIN for a million years.

Samantha: "I'm not your secretary! I'm the office manager!"
Tate: "You know what's sexy? Playing fun sex games. Let's pretend you're my secretary."
Samantha: "Ooh, that's sexy. Now what?"
Tate: "Uh, take this envelope to the other office like I just asked you to do."
Samantha: "Cool I'll do it, because now it's super sexy."

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Hostages

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