2:45 P.M.

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 20 USERS: B
Dig Your Own Hole
Ellen: "Sort of? But also, I tend to fuck everything up on this show, like, regularly."
Tate: "Don't wuss out! Just do my dumb plan!"
Ellen: "Review it for me one more time."
Tate: "Much like every other plan on this show, turns out it's pretty basic. Like how you beat a lie detector by beating it, or make the President change his mind by saying to. In this escape plan the main thrust of what you are going to be doing is, you will be escaping."
Ellen: "I thought it would be more complicated. But I guess simple is best."

Tate: "One more time, say it back to me."
Ellen: "Today I will escape being a hostage."
Tate: "Okay, and how?"
Ellen: "By not being a hostage anymore."
Tate: "Good, good. And then I will get away too."
Ellen: "How?"
Tate: "By getting away! By escaping. PS, sorry I cheated on you."
Ellen: "Focus, dude. Like I care about that. If I really cared about that I would never have gotten this dumb career. I certainly wouldn't be a huge famous success. And more immediately, if I cared about this family at all I wouldn't constantly be double-dog-daring Duncan Carlisle to shoot you in your heads."


Realtor: "It's four years ago and do you want this house?"
Ellen: "It seems like a nice place to develop Stockholm Syndrome."

Tate: "Oh Ellen. Remember when we were poor?"
Ellen: "Not really, I was in med school. I was pretty busy."
Tate: "Stop acting like you're so into this house or that lady will raise the price. I know about these things because I am in business or real estate. Something with portfolios."


Duncan: "Why are you making those muffins? I didn't say you could make muffins. You need to go kill the President or I will murder your family. How you like them muffins."
Ellen: "Oh no, I burned myself with the darn muffins! Right on my surgeon hand that I use for doing surgeries and sometimes killings."
Duncan: "Oh, so painful! Let me hold it and make it better in a strangely intimate way."
Beardy: "Whoa, I think that's sexual harassment. Or what would you call that?"
Duncan: "Go get her med kit so I can do medicine on her hand. We're in love now."
Ellen: "Thanks for bandaging my hand, look over there while I steal my own scalpel."

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