2:45 P.M.

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 20 USERS: B
Dig Your Own Hole
Nina: "Okay, you are a legendary bad-ass in so many ways, but you can't control cancer, so that makes you feel bad. Bad enough to kill the President? Perhaps."
Duncan: "That sounds like me for sure."

Duncan: "Guess what? I found out about a doctor that does experiments."
Nina: "Why are you just now telling me about this?"
Duncan: "I don't really think you're in any position to be making decisions about your own body, for one. But also, that darn President is still alive."

Nina: "Don't do illegal things and don't spend our money on fantasy quackery."
Duncan: "It's not a fantasy, it's a MIRACLE. That's why you have to keep doing chemo. So you can eventually bridge to this miracle science cure."
Nina: "Did you know that chemo sucks real, real bad?"
Duncan: "I know, but just do it as a favor to me. Or else I will be sad."


Tate pretends to be interesting in Beardy and what his name is and his facts, and let's talk about lacrosse and whatever, but BOOM! It was a trick. He beats the shit out of Beardy, and it's beautiful. Tate with a fireplace poker, a lax spoon, just going to town on this guy. Throwing seven elbows, landing gorgeous face-punches. Oh, Tate. You are a beast. You are so many things. Don't be a hero, Tate. Not that you ever could be.


Morgan and Jake have a fake-ass convo about how they are nervous to be at the bus station, and they hold hands. Where's Ellen? Taking off in her Volvo, just squealin' past Archer, who calls Duncan to tattle on her. Duncan goes, "Clamp it down. Now." And that's the moment that I realized I fuckin' hate this show. I hate stupid Duncan Carlisle and I hate the things he says and I hate that these people live in this world where he can say shit like "Clamp it down" and just ... go unpunished.

But I also love it. I like the actors, most of them, and it's getting cancelled either way, so let's just spend the time with Tate we've got. Don't poison it with hate of Duncan Carlisle. It's not his fault that he is so dorky or that CBS thinks what is cool is the opposite of reality. This is the same network that has the show where the computer girl has the perky-goth 1993 pigtails, correct? Exactly. From the people that brought you that girl -- that thought she was a thing that should exist -- comes Duncan Carlisle.

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