Hostages
2:45 P.M.

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 20 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Dig Your Own Hole

Ellen: "Remember how we were going to escape? Well, that's no longer happening."
Tate: "Okay but our children probably already cut each other open, so think about that. All the moving parts of this and you had to mouth off at Cher-Cher."
Ellen: "But I have to check-in every fifteen minutes! I can't get to the kids and also that other building where your jump-off took our passports and also get to Canada in fifteen minutes! That's not enough time to do that, even for a woman accustomed to multitasking such as myself."
Tate: "You need to stop saying can't, and start saying okay. Just get the passports and grab the kids. I will do something needlessly showy that will distract the entire Team Duncan."
Ellen: "I guess I will just do whatever you tell me, like I am always doing every week."

SCHOOL

With Sandrine in the parking lot, and school security watching some other door, Jake shows that he is awesome when suddenly there is a bomb threat and everybody crowds out into the intramurals field, because Jake is a drug dealer and he hangs out with his customers and this time, a bomb threat was fair trade for drugs. The wacky weed type.

Jake, verbatim: "I'm not smoking weed, Morgan. I'm selling it."

The music is like, the music just can't even believe this just happened. You should definitely go poking into your own kids' shit, CBS viewers. This could happen to you!

Sandrine still sees their microchips on her iPad, so she doesn't worry about it. Bad move, Sandrine. Ping ping ping, because you didn't know that the Sanders kids are fucking hardcore punk rockers who will carve technology out of their own skin, or even sell grass, to get what they want.

HOSPITAL

Beth: "I'm Angela's mom, do you remember me?"
Ellen: "Yeah, because we were best friends. I am bummed that she died."
Beth: "I blame myself for yelling at her on the phone one time."
Ellen: "Oh, that's not why she killed herself. She didn't even kill herself. I wish I could give you some peace and comfort, but I have to escape my abductors real quick, so you can show yourself out."

NINA

Duncan: "I've been thinking about your leukemia and I've decided I am firmly against."
Nina: "Stop trying to brainwash me with your sexy voice!"
Duncan: "Explain to me what is going on here. Use small words like so a child would understand this TV show and what is happening on it."

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Hostages

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