High School Reunion
Episode 6

Episode Report Card
Wendola: B- | Grade It Now!
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Yeah, you know the WB

Another white limo pulls up, and Ben, Chris, and Jeff get out. Uh, where did they go? To snag some Trojans at Walgreen's? Whatever. I guess it's so they can act out the whole coming-to-pick-up-the-girls part. The guys bellow up the stairs for the girls to come down. Oh, that would have gone over great with my dad. Maya, Amy, and Sarah come down the stairs. Man, Amy's dress rocks. It's this black retro-looking halter deal. Jeff sees Sarah in a strappy, low-cut dress and says, "Put those away -- this is a family party!" Yeah, it's time to put the boob jokes away, too. Chris puts the corsage on Amy, saying he handcrafted it himself from rare flowers. Then JockDan and Maurice show up to pick up Patricia and Nicole, respectively, and finally Dave gets Holly and Barbato meets up with Natasha. Barbato's wearing this fucking fedora which he has cocked off the side of his head. Oh, God, is that his supposed to be his Playa Hat? "Shuffleboard playa" is more like it. Nice tux, Uncle Mortimer -- all your peeps at the Rotary Club will dig that shit. As he walks out with Natasha, he says in voice-over that tonight he wants Natasha "to at least admit that there's a chance this might work out. Because this girl could be the one…this girl is driving me crazy." Oh, no.

Dan and Natasha are in the limo. Natasha voices over that "he's so sure about how he feels, and I've never been that completely sure about things." Barbato makes a huge deal about kissing her hand. Meanwhile, Dave and Holly decide that her corsage, like everything else, is "perfect." In another limo, Tim is no longer crying but laughing; in yet another, Jeff is trying to feel up Sarah and she keeps having to slap his hand away. But you know Sarah loves it. Well, actually, she winds up covering her chest with a napkin, so maybe not.

The limos pull up to some place called "Wailea Estate." I'm so glad that they didn't stick this faux prom in a fucking school gym somewhere to so as to conjure up some cheesy notion of essential high-school-prom-ness, because the OPRF proms were held at nice Chicago hotels like the Palmer House and the Hilton & Towers. We were classy, yo. The place they're at looks fancy enough, except then they had to crap it up by putting up cardboard stars and plastic curtains, as if they really were still depending on a couple of seventeen-year-old dorks who volunteered to drive to Party Mart. The couples pose for their Prom photos. Tim poses on his own. Jeff and Sarah pose and do their pawing/slapping-hand routine yet some more. Everyone poses for a group photo. Then they have their dinner buffet. Lots of close-ups of the classmates eating, and you know they appreciated that. Jeff tries to lick Sarah's ear. Oh, like THAT won't mess up Sarah's child when he watches the show. Sorry, kid, that's not your new daddy on TV. There's toasting at the Prom. There's laughter. And then, there's Mike Richards. He walks out and announces the band that will be playing: Naughty By Nature.

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High School Reunion

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