High School Reunion
Episode 3

Episode Report Card
Wendola: C | Grade It Now!
Naked Oak Park!

It's still Hyper School Reunion back at the house. Summer and Patricia are throwing water on each other and flailing around. Sarah is in the hot tub fully clothed, screaming, "Don't get naaaaaaakeeed!!!" at naked Jeff, who jumps in the pool. Barbato is passed out on the couch in just his shorts, snoring loudly, and Tim, Ben, and Summer decide to try to take off his pants. "So that he'd just wake up by himself wondering why he was naked in the living room." Um, would he really wonder at this point? Would anyone? Summer explains, "Ben had his hands under his butt and Tim got the seat of his pants, but I had no idea that Dan didn't even have underwear on!" They get Barbato's pants open and pulled down a little ways, but then they realize, oh my God -- he's all pixilated under there! "At that point, we just lost it, and we just ran away." The rest of the classmates gather around, pointing at sleeping, blurry-dicked Dan.

The remainder of Dave and Holly's date is a night picnic on the beach, because nothing tops off a good oily massage like a bunch of sand. "It was just beautiful," says Holly, who is wearing yet another flower in her hair. I think she must have her own personal Hair Flower Wrangler for this show. Dave and Holly sit under a tent, drinking champagne. "I'm, like, just about cracking a joke. Being funny. Being silly. Keeping it light," says Dave, and yet his intense stare says, love me Playboy lady let me live in your cleavage forever. Holly says in an interview that she's heard about the way he was in high school, and she can see how he might have said hurtful things and been a complete and utter ass-headed dickmonkey son of a bitch on a shitstick. Well, that's approximately what she said. But she says she thinks he's changed: "Underneath, I think he's a really caring guy." He continues to stare intensely: Must bury face in funbags please Mommy please. He tells her she's gorgeous. "Stop staring," Holly says finally. A cheesy song plays: Holly's all that Dave wants! Holly's all that Dave needs! Dave says in a confessional that he'd like her to "be his girl" when they get home. "That's all I can hope for," he says. "The rest is in her hands." Her hands, huh? Well, good for Dave to remember that Holly has a pair of those, too.

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High School Reunion




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