High School Reunion
Episode 3

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Wendola: C | Grade It Now!
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Naked Oak Park!

After the commercials, they show what happened in real time, and although the camera angle makes it look like Dave could have hit Ben out of the ring, it also sort of looks as if Ben just decided, "Holy shit, I'm done!" and dove out. Still, they treat it as a T.K.O. and declare Dave the winner. In an interview, JockDan says he hadn't thought Ben could "hold a candle" to Dave, but it took a lot of guts to get into the ring. Dave calls over to Ben. "Ben, I don't know what that was about," he says, "but thank you." See, I think he's talking about Ben leaping out of the ring, but the whole scene is edited so that it seems like Dave is thanking Ben for allowing him this soul-challenging violent enactment of the hostility of his own psyche or something. Oh, whatever. Ben says in voice-over that he's a little less concerned about outcomes. "I think I've earned Dave's respect," he says. Dave and Ben high-five each other, and the classmates cheer. In an interview, Maya says, "Ben's come a long way and I think he's getting in his groove." "Maybe Ben did have a grudge against me," says Dave, "but it's nice to be able to get into the ring with him and in good fun." There are good feelings all around. Shiny happy manly feelings.

Patricia tells us she heard that Hall Passes had been distributed that morning! No shit! Really? Well, who else knows? Everyone? Oh. Even the show's producers? Yeah? Oh. And this is gossip? You suck, Patricia. It turns out that Jeff and Holly got the Hall Passes. Jeff confesses in an interview that he'd probably have the best time with Patricia. He's shown getting dressed; he says he wants to "class it up" for the occasion. "I hope Patricia says yes…because she's really the one that I probably never knew and I'd get to know now…she's cool as hell." He's wearing a shirt and tie, and explains that it's because "it's probably fifty-fifty whether or not she says yes, so I figured this would make it maybe sixty-forty." He walks down to the living room; everyone's all, "Woooo…" Patricia's at the kitchen counter, and he goes up and says, "I was hoping that maybe, um, if you're interested, you will, um" -- he reads the Hall Pass -- "go on a hike through the rainforest to a tropical oasis, and maybe dress for a hike, but don't forget our swimsuits?" Patricia gives him a funny look. In an interview, he says, "If she doesn't say yes, I'll probably just bury myself in, like, ten bottles, and pass out by noon." Self-deprecation is like some kind of Jedi power with Jeff. Finally Patricia says she'd love to go. Everyone applauds. "All right," says Jeff. "You want to make breakfast for me or something?" Everyone laughs. Heh. That's funny. Patricia tells him to go get ready. Jeff does a victory lap around the living room and high-fives everyone. Heh. That's enough.

Holly has decided to pick names out of a hat for her Hall Pass. "Fate brought me to Hawaii; let fate choose my companion," she says. Actually, Holly, boobs brought you to Hawaii, so let those…oh, never mind. Dave says he's not going to let the hat-pick happen. "I'm going to see to it somehow that I get taken on her date," he says. He gets dressed up, too, and gets a flower to present to Holly, and gets ready to make a big entrance to the living room a la Jeff. "I don't think Dave was copy-catting me," says Jeff. "I think he saw that it worked, and I'm probably going to get hot with Patricia, [note: he's kidding] and he was thinking the same thing." Dave walks up to Holly and starts making the same speech that Jeff made. Everyone's like, "The hell?" including Holly, but she says yes. More applause. It's like they're all some kind of support group for the dating-impaired. They sit together on the couch. Holly says she's sort of embarrassed. Dave says he's embarrassed and all sweaty from being nervous. "I think I've got to go upstairs and be by myself for awhile," he says. I think he wants you to think exactly what you think that means. Patricia says that Dave really likes Holly and was "very, very impressed by the whole Playboy scenario." "I think he is very excited to go on a date with a Playboy model," says Patricia. I admire how she can keep a completely sweet face as she says that.

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High School Reunion

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