Seven Minutes To Midnight

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now!
The Ballad Of Charlie And Hiro
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Shut up, Mohinder. Fine: the earth is large, but not so large that you can hide from shit forever. On a beach in India, mourners watch as Mohinder dumps his father's ashes into the ocean (well, he does -- and rightly so, because ocean breezes can be really powerful and fan cremains around in unfortunate ways; if it taught us nothing else, The Big Lebowski at least taught us that), and then waves a burning stick of incense around. A woman approaches -- Mohinder's mother, obviously -- and tells him that his father's moved on to the next life. Sendhil Ramamurthy does his best to weep, but can summon only the dry cries in an effort so poor as to be practically Van Der Beekian.

Isaac wakes up to his face being daubed with a damp washcloth. Of course it's held by Eden, who is perched on the edge of his bed, telling him she thought she'd clean him up a little. The room, as we pull out...well, I've never been in rehab (no matter what you've read on The Smoking Gun, thank you very much), but the room certainly looks typical of the nicer rehab facilities I've seen on other TV shows and in, like, Postcards From The Edge (a movie which, if you haven't seen it, you should; it'll give you a real endolphin rush): the bed is narrow, with an institutional-looking fake-wood headboard and matching nightstand beside it; there's a tall plant in the corner; a placid, soothing landscape hangs over the bed; and the only light comes from a pair of table lamps with mellow cream-coloured shades. Isaac looks disoriented and makes slow, fidgety movements as Eden tells him he's had "a rough couple of days," but is now doing great and will be "completely clean in no time." As Eden starts smearing shaving cream on his cheek, Isaac groggily asks her whether she's sure he'll still be able to paint. "After I teach you, yes," says Eden cryptically. She's going to teach him art? I foresee some tampons in some teacups. "The drugs were just a facilitator," Eden explains. "That mural on the floor? We're not gonna let that happen." "You seem pretty sure," Isaac tells her, taking her hand. I don't know how he can have any confidence in her teaching skills if she doesn't at least know that "murals" are seldom on floors, hello, take a Latin class. Eden says she is sure. But how? "Because I went through the same thing myself," she exposits, busting out a straight razor and gingerly shaving Isaac's cheek. What the hell kind of whack rehab facility allows straight razors? When I was at Hazelden, they...

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