Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A | 6 USERS: A
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Somehow I forgot that Hugh Dancy is married to Claire Danes and now I can't stop imagining them having crazy-eyed face-offs in their marital bedroom. I mean, they probably have a master class for two in glazed looks and wild goggling. Can't wait for them to get really drunk and leak a YouTube video. Anyway on to the latest installment.

Eddie Izzard is guest-starring in tonight's episode as a prisoner who the guards find lying face down in his cell. They rush him to the prison hospital and, as expected, despite being restrained, the moment he's alone with the nurse, he kills her. I love Eddie Izzard, especially when he plays bad guys.

Jack Crawford and William Graham show up at the hospital to try and positively identify the prisoner as the serial killer known as the Chesapeake Ripper. While the name is undoubtedly supposed to sound terrifying, I'm pretty sure it's the name of a specialty cocktail at a Baltimore crab shack, which is, in its own way, completely terrifying. On their way into the hospital, Graham mutters, "I'm always afraid going into these places." "Why?" Crawford asks. "I'm afraid they won't let me out," Graham says with a straight face. Ugh, is this show trying to sound hackneyed and hit every cliché in the thriller manual?

Anyway, the warden/head doctor has heard all about Graham from someone (maybe the pesky blogger?) and has no qualms showing a severe lack of social graces and good manners by telling Graham that he possesses "a unique cocktail of neuroses and personality disorders make you a great profiler." He then invites Graham back to the hospital for examination, which Crawford quashes, because what is that guy even doing anyway. Who wrote this episode? Crawford and Graham finally get down to work trying to determine whether Gideon (Izzard) is actually the Chesapeake Ripper or just some wannabe who wants the credit within the psychopathic community and with those insane women with low self-esteem who write love letters to crazytown. The man in charge takes them to see crime scene, where the body has been left in situ. It's grotesque -- so grotesque that the doctor is pretty sure the prisoner was the infamous Chesapeake Ripper. Graham does his thing, channeling the killer and walking in his shoes to recreate the crime.

Flashback to a young FBI recruit (played by Anna Chlumsky, formerly of My Girl and currently of Veep) being called into a younger and goateed Crawford's office. He explains that he is putting her on the Chesapeake Ripper taskforce, because even though she's still at the Academy, they need bodies on the case. Cut back to the psychiatric hospital where the doctor is explaining that the killer, Gideon, received quite a bit of fan mail during his stay at the hospital. Dr. Bloom -- who has joined the team -- is surprised, because Gideon murdered his first wife. Graham thinks that is one clue that Gideon is not the Chesapeake Ripper, murdering his wife was too spontaneous, while the Ripper was methodical. Graham and Bloom will both be interviewing Gideon. As it turns out, Bloom has interviewed Gideon before and Gideon is a big fan of her work. Gah, this show is like porn for psychologists. Who is a fan of psychologists? Unless any of you are psychologists, then you are very attractive. While Bloom and Graham both know that Gideon killed the nurse, their task is to determine whether or not Gideon is truly the Ripper. As Gideon, Izzard does an impressive job of channeling Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in "The Silence of the Lambs." This is not a bad thing, but just a thing. Bloom and Graham point out that the Ripper brutalized the body while the victim was still alive, but he played voodoo doll with nurse after she was dead. Graham is very suspicious of it all.

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