Grosse Pointe
Star Wars

Episode Report Card
Erin: B | Grade It Now!
If you can't cut the mustard, at least cut the cheese

Look. I realize I should have had this goddamn recap done ages ago, but it was the goddamn holidays and then my goddamn computer busted and then my goddamn cell phone got turned off, which I realize has NOTHING to do with the recap, but it still pisses me off, and then Hank4 and Sandman had the goddamn nerve to give me a goddamn DVD player for Christmas and my ass has been permanently tattooed to the sofa for days.

I even finished this bloody thing on Tuesday night and then, because my brain had apparently left the building, accidentally LOST SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT OF THE WORK I HAD DONE. Hello? Do I or do I NOT work for a goddamn Internet company? You'd think I'd figure out fucking Microsoft Outlook.

All this and I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO DRINK. Hank4 and I have made a pact to see if we could get through the ENTIRE month of January without drinking.

Let's just say there's an emergency six-pack of Amstel Light in the fridge AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

That being said...

As the show starts, some lackey cracks the marker and the scene begins. Becky and Stone are driving along in a car with Becky draped around Stone's neck. Stone asks Becky if she's tired, and Becky says she's just thinking about their future together and how glad she is that she decided not to go to Oslo. "I have my muse and his name is Stone Anders." Oh, please. "This day started out so bad," says Stone. "First, I fail a drug test. Then...a math test --"

Stone gets cut off at this point by the incongruous event of Becky farting. And this is no minor-league pooter, people. She actually lifts one cheek up off the seat and lets rip with a home run of an ass-blaster that would make a pro wrestler proud. I'm guessing this is NOT part of the scene because Quentin can barely breathe, let alone concentrate on his lines. He's practically gasping for air and begging for a gas mask when he delivers his next line, "But getting you back makes everything right again."

"CUT!" yells the director. Quentin hurriedly rolls the window down. "I think Hunter just did!" Heh.

Hunter pretends that she doesn't know what Quentin is talking about. "What're you talking about?" Clever. "That A-bomb you just let loose," wheezes Quentin, dreaming of pine-scented air fresheners. Q's last quip elicits many giggles from the cast and crew who are milling about. Hairless realizes that he's suddenly got an audience and continues down the offensive emissions road. "That's a whole lot of gas for such a little lady," Quentin says, relishing his new role as a bodily functions-centric comedian.

Hunter gets pissy with Hairless for using her accidental release to fuel his lame comedic moment and pulls angrily on his "hair." "Not the hair!" he shrieks. "What hair?" Hunter retorts. Hairless shoves Hunter away from him and Hunter, ever the opportunist, sees a chance for a little revenge. "You'll regret that!" she shouts. "I doubt that!" Q replies. Hunter looks around at the crew. "Ow!" she whines. "My rotator cuff!"

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Grosse Pointe




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