Episode Report Card
LTG: B+ | Grade It Now!
Love, Lima Style

Cut to Kurt and Blaine sitting on a bench, pretending it's cold outside. Blaine is wondering whether the entire thing was all too much, and Kurt's not exactly telling him it wasn't. And then Jeremiah emerges from the store and tells Blaine that he just got fired because of all the singing and dancing. I guess his boss was the other person somewhere in the store who also didn't enjoy it. Also, nobody at the Gap knew that Jeremiah is gay. Kurt, noting Jeremiah's hair, begs to differ. In any case, Jeremiah tells Blaine that the fact that they had coffee a couple of times doesn't mean they were dating. And he essentially calls Blaine jailbait, indicating that Jeremiah is older than he looks and that he's ignorant of Ohio's age-of-consent laws. Even though Kurt was just in this exact situation, he has a hard time conjuring up a supportive look to give to Blaine.

However, I can totally sympathize with Blaine. Welcome to LTG's Minute of Oversharing as I tell you why. When I was a senior in high school, I was out to a significant number of people in my school, even if it wasn't common knowledge among all teachers and students that I was gay. And after a performance in a school play, I was approached by a totally adorable sophomore who wanted to tell me how much he enjoyed my performance. And he started stalking me in a very minor way, so that it became apparent that he knew that I was gay and he was interested in me. And he would have been a great catch -- very cute, an athlete, funny, smart. But I absolutely refused to date him and insisted we remain friends, because I somehow had gotten the idea that it was more important to have a gay friend in school than a boyfriend. Meanwhile, every time I became aware of some college-aged gay guy, I would develop a massive crush. And I mean people I didn't even meet, like the gay DJ on the Syracuse University radio station morning show, and the guy I saw in a couple of SU student plays. I never went to the point of convincing a bunch of friends to join me in serenading these dudes, but I did fantasize about ways I might accidentally meet them so they could fall madly in love with me. All while a guy with whom I could have had an actual relationship was standing right in front of me. (See, teenagers are stupid.) And that concludes LTG's Minute of Oversharing.

Music room. Mike Chang enters with Single-T Tina on his back. In a happy, fun way, not a nagging way. Santana notices all the lovey-dovey behavior among the couples in the room (including Quinn and Ladylips) and gets a disgusted look on her face. And then we get a Santana voice-over: "Ugh, gross. How is this possible? I'm the hottest piece of action at this school and here I am, on Valentine's, single. Whatever. I'll just marry and NFL player. They're super reliable." And then she sees Finn come in and catches Quinn throwing a little look his way. The VO continues: "Wait, that's weird. Quinn's wearing her queen bitch smirk, and Finn only wears that gassy infant look when he feels guilty about something. Holy sweet hell, they're fooling around! I know what cheating looks like, I do it all the time. Well, I think it's time to do what Santana does best. Revenge."

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