Glee
I Am Unicorn

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Straining Harsh Discords And Unpleasing Sharps

Later that evening, Brit-Brit's arrived at St. Gay's boudoir for their previously arranged strategy session. She's sporting a fluffy little hot-pink-and-sky-blue plush unicorn horn on her head, and her posters are whimsical concoctions of sparkle and glitter that dance around oversized close-ups of Kurt's face rendered in devastatingly tasteful shades of blush and bashful, and on top of all that, she proposes distributing to each student a "swag bag" which shall henceforth be known as "Kurt Hummel's Bulging Pink Fun Sack." Each bag will contain, among other things, a pair of ruby slippers, a stuffed Tinky-Winky doll, and a Burlesque DVD. For once in his life, St. Gay Of Lima is speechless. While he appreciates Brit-Brit's enthusiasm, he claims that he doesn't want to be known as "Kurt Hummel, Homo." No comment. To that end, he's come up with a "toned-down" campaign poster of his own, an "understated" and "elegant" thing inspired, of course, by "the classic Blackglama fur coat ads," and I gotta be honest, here: The resemblance is eerie. Brit-Brit approvingly decides St. Gay's efforts are "so unicorn!" and with that, we head back to...

...McKinley, where the camera finds Quinn and Puck moseying through the halls. Puck's got a surprise for her, and that surprise is of course Idina Menzel, and this reunion of theirs is of course uncomfortable in the extreme, and when Idina Menzel insists despite all previous evidence to the contrary that she "gave Rachel up for adoption," I completely zone out on the remainder of this scene because: SHUT THE FUCK UP, GLEE. From what I can gather, though, Idina would like Puck and Quinn to be a part of wee tiny Drizzle's life, though she insists Quinn clean up her act first. Drama ensues, with Quinn getting all up in Idina's face, all, "Whatevah! I do what I want!" before flouncing on out of there into this evening's first commercial break.

Back from the break, we're treated to a few slo-mo shots of Gaylord Weiner doing his dancing thang with Mr. Schue before the inaugural session of Booty Camp commences with Gaylord leading his less-talented fellows in a rehearsal of that most basic of steps, the grapevine. A few expected lumbering-Frankenteen hijinks ensue, but the central focus of the little scenelet that follows is the sotto-voce conversation between St. Gay Of Lima and his boyfriend, Dreamboat Blaine, the latter of whom decided to attend Booty Camp as a way to ingratiate himself with New Directions' other members. You see, Blaine had intended to try for Tony during the impending West Side Story auditions, and St. Gay gets all monumentally threatened at the prospect of his boyfriend landing the part and too-casually sings, "Oh! Are you auditioning for Tony, too?" and Blaine's all, "What's with this 'too' bullshit, Mary? You can't seriously be thinking you're right for that role -- I mean, for Christ's sake, I'm pretty sure Graziella'd be too butch for you. God knows she could beat me up." Except for the part where Blaine says no such thing and instead immediately caves in the face of St. Gay's almighty pissiness, insisting he'd be just fine playing Bernardo or Officer Krupke or that runty little loser who thinks he's got a shot at Maria at the dance, and St. Gay Of Lima smiles because he won again, and SHUT THE FUCK UP, KURT.

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Glee

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