I Am Unicorn

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: F
Straining Harsh Discords And Unpleasing Sharps

Cut to the music room, and what follows is an exposition dump of such massive proportions that I'm not even going to try to fashion it into something other than what it is, so here goes: Mr. Schue enters to tell the children that Carmel High fired Dustin Goolsby from his position as coach of Vocal Adrenaline because Vocal Adrenaline placed second at Nationals in New York in May, and Vocal Adrenaline remains leaderless because the school can't find anyone to take on the crushing pressure involved in running so high-profile a program. Because Vocal Adrenaline is now so incredibly vulnerable, Mr. Schue has decided to forego directing this fall's musical at McKinley in favor of focusing all his attentions on winning Nationals this year, and to that end, he's done two things. The first is to establish an after-school "Booty Camp" with the assistance of Gaylord Weiner, the purpose of which is to provide remedial dance lessons for those children most in need of them, and those children include Finn, Puck, St. Gay Of Lima and Mercedes, though if my memory of the group's past performances serves me correctly, little Miss Berry there should be required to attend as well, despite the fact that she supposedly began tap-dancing in Idina Menzel's womb. The second thing Mr. Schue's done is to appoint Emma, Artie and Coach Beiste as co-directors of West Side Story, Emma because "she did such a good job" helping out with last year's Rocky Horror debacle, Artie because he needs a storyline this season and Coach Beiste because she can coerce the football team into playing The Jets, though something tells me those resentful meatheads will be nothing but completely inept, especially during a number like this one. And I think I've covered everything here, so let's move on to the next scene, shall we?

Teachers' Lounge. As Will futzes with the coffee maker, a pair of black suede size-7 pumps stalks up behind him, and it's Idina Menzel, last seen adopting wee little Drizzle Fabray at the end of the first-season finale, and just what is Idina Menzel doing in the McKinley High Teachers' Lounge? "I'm a teacher here, now," Idina explains. "Well," she amends, "part-time. You ever hear of this guy named Al Motta?" Smear sideways to...

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