I Am Unicorn

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: F
Straining Harsh Discords And Unpleasing Sharps

Anyway, where the hell was I? Oh, yes: Dreamboat Blaine offers us all a thoroughly enjoyable performance of "Something's Coming," and when it's over, he's left The Judgy Triumvirate weepy and all but speechless. Artie, in fact, would like nothing more than to give Blaine a standing ovation, but one little detail on Blaine's audition form does give him pause. "You said you were only interested in the role of Bernardo," Artie quizzically notes, consulting the form in question. Poor Blaine is instantly flustered, and he awkwardly stammers that Officer Krupke would be fine, too, if that's where they think he'd best fit in. The various members of the Judgy Triumvirate exchange significant glances with each other before Artie delicately inquires, "Would you mind reading for Tony?" Poor Blaine, obviously mindful of the rampant amounts of passive-aggressive bitchery he'd receive from his supposed boyfriend should he give the wrong answer, sighs and chews on his lower lip and looks thoroughly miserable for a very long moment.

Meanwhile, up in the shadows of the balcony from which he'd silently been witness to this entire exchange, St. Gay Of Lima blinks back tears of white-hot rage before vanishing into the episode-ending darkness. Jesus Christ, I'm sick of that fucking little queen.

Next week: More drama, this involving Mercedes trying for the same role as Rachel, even though she is also horribly, horribly wrong for the part. See you then!

Demian thinks Natalie Wood had a lovely voice in the movie. You may contact him at

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