Glee Project

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: A- | Grade It Now!
Cry Hard: With A Vengeance

One of my early favorites, Dani, went home last week for being too reserved/well-adjusted. But the contestants already seem over it as Robert Ulrich comes into the room to give them this week's assignment. The theme is "vulnerability." When Robert announces this, the contestants leap to their feet, cheering and clapping. This makes absolutely no sense. The only one who is responding with the appropriate mistrust and trepidation is Michael, and he will surely be eliminated for it in good time.

The homework this week is Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without U." Charlie isn't thrilled because he wants to Act, and how can he express the Drama of Emotions in one of eleven lines in a dance hit? Robert tells them to dig deep, because this week's guest "could write the book on vulnerability."

"Oh my god, Chris Colfer wrote a book!" Abraham squeals, forgetting that this isn't America's Next Top Model and Robert didn't just deliver a cryptic Tyra Mail. We know from the previews that the guest is Cory Monteith who knows a thing or two more about squinting than he does about vulnerability.

Aylin's plan is to keep doing what she's been doing, but there are only so many eligible men to kiss in this competition so she'll need to re-strategize soon. Mario's plan is to keep being a jerk about the homework assignments, which he gets in Braille. What a jerk with his special embossed lyrics sheet. Aylin and Lily fight over a line, and everyone continues to use the phrase "rubbing me the wrong way."

This week's guest is, in fact, Cory Monteith. Everyone delights in his accessible presence. Cory delivers a brief lesson in the Stanislavsky technique, and then it's time to perform what's sure to be the most over-acted, tearful rendition of a song that couldn't even be bothered to spell out the word "you."

Even though it's only the third week, I have come to really enjoy the homework assignments. They're so over-wrought, and this one is sure to be in the upper echelon of over-wrought-itude. And in the end, a "winner" is chosen by some actor, who's just popping by to get paid. It's great. Living up to my highest expectations, this performance features lots of almost-tears and reaching, as though each contestant were trying to hold on to each moment before the spotlight turns off after their three seconds. I hope Cory chooses Michael as the winner because they look like each other. He might as well, there's no real criteria to go on here.

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Glee Project




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