Gilmore Girls
Unto The Breach

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B | 5 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Rory Gilmore, Will You Marry Me?

Luke arrives at Liz's place for a visit and is amazed by how great her garage/workshop looks. "What's gonna go here?" he asks, looking at some freshly constructed but empty shelves. "Ah, nothing," Liz says, "T.J. put those up." Ha! Mark this down as the first time Liz has made a smart choice...possibly ever. They admire T.J.'s other creations, including a "coat-rack lamp." Luke says he's come by to pick up a graduation gift for Rory -- he thinks she would like some earrings. So sweet. While he looks through the merchandise, Liz quizzes him about Lorelai's serenade. She heard all about it from the crowd at Westin's. "It wasn't a serenade," Luke says, not wanting to talk about it. "She drank a truckload of tequila and sang a sappy song." Liz calls for a time-out. "'I Will Always Love You' is not a sappy song," she says. "It's classic Cyndi Lauper." Huh? "Whitney Houston," Luke corrects. Wha...look, I don't want to get into it. Dolly. The end.

Liz insists that after the karaoke, it's Luke's moment to make a move on Lorelai. "Look," he says, "if it had meant something, she would have come in." He indicates that he's done talking about it, going back to choosing earrings for Rory. "All I'm saying," Liz says, "is that from everything I've heard, and know, Lorelai would like you to respond." She says Crazy Carrie saw the whole thing at Kacey's and reported that Lorelai really gave him "the love look." He tries to blow her off again, commenting on a pretty necklace she has for sale, but the conversation turns back to Lorelai. "That would really match Lorelai's eyes," Liz needles him. He sighs. Maybe, he says, he'll get the necklace as a backup for Rory. "I mean," he shrugs, "she has blue eyes, right?" Liz laughs at him, along with the rest of us.

Paris and Doyle are packing their apartment. Doyle patches holes in the plaster while Paris shouts down potential buyers who are calling to buy the stuff they don't want to move. "If you want to haggle," she says to one unfortunate soul, "go to a flea market, because my other line is ringing." SOLD. She's getting fifteen more dollars for her kitchen table than she paid for it two years ago. She sings a celebratory tune as she tells Doyle the key to haggling: "You put your hands around their throat, and just keep on squeezing." Doyle doesn't even blink. "You've got skills, baby," he says. Just think, Paris says, how handy she will be while they travel through India. Oh my God, the thought of Paris in India, a country with whom relations are often tenuous, makes me frightened for the fictional U.S. "Remind me -- we have to pack Advil," she says. "If I get a headache, I'm not about to get some Ayurvedic massage. Doyle needs to clarify. "You are going to tame it down a little in India, right?" he asks. "We are tourists." No way, Paris says. Her travel philosophy is to travel aggressively, lest you get taken advantage of. Beautiful. Next year on The CW: Gupta Girl, set in a New Dehli jail, staring Liza Weil as "Persia Gellar." Oh, y'all. The geographical lengths I went to to make that joke... I'd like to say I'm embarrassed, but I'm too busy laughing at myself.

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Gilmore Girls

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