Gilmore Girls
Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
Easter Eggs And Anvils

Put on your townie crazy pants, because it's crazy townie time! They have gathered in the square to find all of the rotten eggs. Taylor gives a speech, letting everyone know that. But you already know that, so I can skip this part of the dialogue. Fifty-nine rotting Easter eggs. Kirk didn't make a map. Taylor repeats that fact a second time, making me giggle. Taylor offers everyone a thank-you by getting 5% off lunch at Doose's Market: "Twenty percent for our day-old sushi." What a guy. Kirk applauds. Nobody else does. Whenever I start to think that Los Angeles isn't that weird a place to live, and that people blow it all out of proportion, I think about how the 7-Eleven on my street sells sushi. How effin' gross is that, people? Sushi a the 7-Eleven. A place where I find the cinnamon rolls questionable. Where even the Slurpees are a bit suspect. Raw fish and lottery tickets. Who could ask for anything more? Gypsy asks what's up with the toupee. Taylor says it's not a toupee. Gypsy says that makes her blonde and leggy. Joe says that he's Jewish, and therefore he's not sure if he's allowed to find Easter eggs. Joe looks like if Perry Farrell made the opposite of every decision in his life. Jackson asks, "Toupee guy says what?" Taylor: "What?" Townies: giggle. Kirk rats Jackson out. Taylor says that he'll keep a running total of found eggs if everyone reports back to him. The townies begin to hunt as Kirk shouts, "We won't let you down, Taylor! Because not only are we gonna find twenty eggs within the hour, but we're gonna go on to find twenty-five! And then thirty! And then thirty-five! And then forty! And then forty-five! And then fifty! Until we find all fifty-nine and take back the square! YeeeeeaAHHH!" Hee. ["Eh. That bit is so February." -- Wing Chun] Everybody stares. Jackson asks, "Hurt your throat?" "Very badly," Kirk admits. Joe finds an egg. Kirk congratulates him.

Digger tells Lorelai that dinner's ready when his cow timer moos. Lorelai seems impressed. Digger must have bought that timer just for her, hoping one day she'd pick up a spatula herself. Don't hold your breath, Digger. Lorelai has just watered a plant. I'd never buy that Digger has plastic pots. Lorelai jams the plant under a staircase, asking if that's a good place for it. Digger explains that plants need light, hence the "photo" part of "photosynthesize." Lorelai asks if some plants just "synthesize." Herbie Hancock plants do. (Sorry.) Digger says that the plants really need the "photo" part. Lorelai says none of her plants did. Digger asks if any of them lived. Lorelai realizes that they didn't. She gasps: "Insight!" Lorelai asks Digger if he's ready for Friday. Digger says he still speaks with his mom, but that he hasn't talked to Floyd much since "The Great Schism." He says it's not that Harry Chapin isn't dying to rise from the grave and write a song about them. He admits he's a little nervous of the upcoming dinner. He knows Floyd will call him "Digger," which he hates. His parents have also hated every girl Digger's ever brought to meet them. One time, they even set him up with a girl they loved, but once Digger was interested, they turned on her: "Viciously. She moved to Alaska." Lorelai says that this is only making her nervous. Digger reminds her that his parents don't know Digger and Lorelai are seeing each other, so that won't be a problem. Lorelai says that they'll find out eventually. Digger tells her to pre-empt their gathering hatred. Lorelai says that they could hate her retroactively. Digger admits that that has happened. Yeah, you already told us the story, Digger. Lorelai puts the plant on a chair, saying it's not a very comfortable chair. Digger says he'll get a new chair. He says that her nervousness has made him less nervous. The cow moos. Lorelai pouts.

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Gilmore Girls




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