Gilmore Girls
Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!

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Easter Eggs And Anvils

A flurry of "la"s float us down to Jackson, Sookie, Davey, and Lorelai enjoying breakfast at Luke's. Lorelai feeds Davey using the old Airplane Technique. Jackson wonders what they said to kids before airplanes were invented. "'Here comes the choo-choo,'" Sookie guesses. And before trains? Lorelai: "'Here comes the spoon.'" Luke grumps over and rushes through Air Lorelai's final descent. "I don't like babies," he gruffs. Jackson stands up and shouts, "Hey!" He is then shocked at how violently protective he just got. Luke explains that he hates the noise babies make. I'm with ya, Luke. Lorelai says that the baby hasn't made a peep. Luke knows that Davey will, and that it'll be at the worst possible time. Lorelai asks if that would be when Luke's defusing a bomb. Sookie gasps, "That would be awkward." I would like to take a quick break here to ask people to stop taking their babies and young children to inappropriate movies. Your four-year-old is distracting me during Dawn of the Dead because all I can imagine is his trauma. Same for Freddy Vs. Jason, Kill Bill Vol. 2, and The Matrix Reloaded. Are you trying to raise a serial killer? Get a sitter! Luke tells Lorelai she's got one minute to order and six minutes to eat. Lorelai writes the new motto for Luke's: "Eat it, then beat it."

Taylor wanders in, all jaunty and happy, fresh from his almost full-season hiatus. There's something different about Taylor. It's not just his tan from his "vacation." It's the chunk of thick, black, fake hair on top of his head. Lorelai, Sookie, and Jackson don't even try to hide their giggles and judgment. Taylor asks Lorelai if she's ever been to the Caribbean. Lorelai, distracted by the Sharpie-colored toupee, asks him to repeat the question. He does. She's still distracted, and asks him to repeat it again. Still not getting through to her brain, Taylor moves on to Luke to observe that there's an odor in the street and that he assumes it's coming from the diner. Taylor says that the smell wasn't around when he left for the Caribbean, so he doesn't know where else it could be emanating from. Luke suggests that he try looking underneath that thing on his head. Taylor says he's just coming his hair differently. Luke thinks that combing it would loosen the glue. Jackson admits that he smelled something bad as well, but that it wasn't by the diner. It was across the "st-hair." Sookie says she smelled it by the "Hairstand. Uh! Newsstand." Some random guy says he smelled it by Gypsy's. Taylor wonders how the whole town can smell. Lorelai says that it is an old town -- two hundred years old. Taylor says that they might have skunks again. "I think you're right, Taylor!" Kirk shouts from the back of the diner. Taylor explains that they had skunks ten years ago. They crawled under houses and died and the town smelled for weeks. How could Taylor be the only one of them who remembers something so foul? I wasn't even there and I can imagine the smell right now. Kirk congratulates Taylor on coming up with the solution. Taylor says he's got to mobilize the community, since this has to be dealt with before the upcoming flower show. Kirk says he'll go door to door and make sure every person looks under his or her house: "I'll even knock some heads together. Get medieval on their ass." Taylor leaves, and Luke demands Lorelai's order. Sookie asks Jackson to get violently protective again, so Luke backs off. But Jackson isn't sure he can summon that again. He tries, standing halfway up with a shaken fist, shouting, "Iiiiii-rreeeee-Luke!" before sitting back down. Luke: "In five minutes, you're all gone." Luke leaves. Jackson's sad that he let the girls down. He says he'll practice more. Lorelai tells everyone to hurry up and read their menus. We fade to opening credits.

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Gilmore Girls

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