Gilmore Girls
There's The Rub

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | 3 USERS: C+
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Adultery, Theft, and Lies

Nightlife. Emily and Lorelai are at a bar featuring that couple that play at the Dresden from Swingers. Couples dance. Lorelai and Emily walk in looking impressed. There's an hour-long wait. Lorelai and Emily immediately start whining that they can't wait an entire hour. "Can we bribe you?" Emily asks sweetly. They can't, unfortunately, but they can eat at the bar, where they serve the full menu. Emily is upset about eating at a bar. She wonders what people will think. "That we're loose women with questionable morals," Lorelai says. Emily and Lorelai take their stools at the corner of the bar as Emily complains about having to eat without her feet touching the floor. Welcome to my world, Emily. It's called 5'3". Lorelai orders two martinis from the bartender. Emily asks for some peanuts. She chomps them all down as Lorelai decides on steak, Caesar salad, and shrimp cocktail. That's a dream dinner, as far as I'm concerned. ["I'm still back on the mac and cheese, but I'm not fancy." -- Wing Chun] Emily's eaten all of the peanuts. "Hey! Save some for winter, there," Lorelai says. Emily says that she's never realized how wonderful peanuts are before. The martinis are served, and the bartender refills the peanuts. The girls clink glasses. Emily says she never thought she'd be inhaling peanuts at a singles' bar. Lorelai points out that this is a "Sixty-Forty" bar, meaning it's full of men in their sixties hitting on women in their forties. Emily looks around. Indeed it is. Emily spots a skanky woman at the other end of the bar and says she could do better than the man she's hitting up. "What does she see in him?" Emily asks. "Big wallet; short lifespan, usual draw," Lorelai answers. As Emily wonders whether they could have pretzels, Lorelai points out that there's a Sixty in the back mistaking Emily for a Forty: "Silver fox. Totally checking you out." Emily blushes and flirts with the back of her head as she tells Lorelai that nobody is checking her out. But he is and she knows it. She tells Lorelai to drink her martini.

Jess and Paris are discussing literature. Arguing, really. Rory just eats quietly. How much food does that kitchen have? And why hasn't she called Dean yet? What is wrong with that girl? ["Bad liar, and stupid from the Jess." -- Wing Chun] Paris stabs Jess in the heart by saying she has one word for Jack Kerouac: "Edit." ["Damn right." -- Wing Chun] Jess says the Beats believed in shocking people and stirring things up. Paris says they believed in drugs, booze, and petty crime. Rory says they exposed her to a world she wouldn't have known otherwise. I can't believe Paris doesn't make a crack about her own parents here. Paris is instantly moist when she finds out that Jess has read some Jane Austen. Jess says he thinks Austen would have liked Bukowski. Paris asks Jess what he's doing with the condiments. He's making a "Salt and Pepper dip" for the French fries. Rory chimes in that it's the only way to eat them: "It's fast-food gospel." To ensure a quick heart attack. Paris tries and loves it. The phone rings, and Jess asks Paris if she likes hot sauce. "I don't know," she says. "Should I?"

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Gilmore Girls

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