Gilmore Girls
There's The Rub

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | 3 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Adultery, Theft, and Lies

Lame Rory is folding her laundry into obsessive-compulsive piles. She's ordering way too much Indian food. She gets another call. Lorelai pretends to be a liquor store asking about delivering a keg. Rory puts Lorelai on hold and finishes with the Indian take-out place. Rory tells Lorelai that she's ordered Indian food. "Can you burn the house down afterward?" she asks. "'Cause that's the only way we'll get the smell out." Rory promises to burn the house down. Rory asks how the spa is going. "Tranquil," Lorelai says. "Really?" Rory asks. Lorelai: "I wasn't done. Tranquil...izers will be required if I'm forced to spend one more minute with my mother." Rory asks whether Lorelai's even trying to get along. Lorelai says she's being a peach, or rather, that she smells like a peach. The doorbell rings. Lorelai wants to know who it is. Rory says that the sooner she hangs up, the sooner the weekend will be over for Lorelai. Rory hangs up the phone with a "Steal me soap."

It's complete daylight outside, so I have no idea what time it's supposed to be. Rory's in pajamas. They've got Mr. Peanut on them. I think you have to buy those at this little store in Melrose. They cost about two hundred dollars. Now, does Mr. Peanut need a cane and a monocle because of some kind of Sodium-overdosing? Paris is at the door. She says she can't study by herself anymore. She says that nothing makes sense to her and that she can't even read her own writing. "The person that wrote this should be wearing a clown suit, stuffing bodies under the porch," she says. She notices that Rory's in pajamas. "This was the big night you had planned? A rendezvous with Mr. Peanut?" She also can't believe that Rory's just sitting around doing laundry. Rory says she hardly gets the house to herself. Paris has absolutely no sympathy for Rory, since she never even sees her own parents. She storms to the door, telling Rory that she doesn't want to get in the way: "I hear there's going to be some hot knitting going on later." Ha. Rory says that she'll study with Paris for one hour. Quick review and pop quiz. Paris says it's a deal. Rory tells Paris to sit on the couch. "Where are you going?" Paris asks nervously. Rory says she's going to change. Paris says that her hour doesn't start until Rory's finished changing and they actually sit down to study.

Lorelai and Emily are dressed for dinner. Lorelai tells Emily that she looks great. Emily asks if she's being sarcastic. Lorelai says she's being completely serious. Lorelai applies lipstick in the mirror. Emily compliments the color and asks what it is. "Vicious Trollop," Lorelai answers. Emily scoffs until Lorelai shows her the underside of the tube. "Now why would you name a lipstick something like that?" Emily wonders. Wow, that's my mom as well. "Because 'Dirty Whore' was taken?" Lorelai tries. "You frighten me," Emily says. Lorelai tells Emily to try the lipstick. Emily says that it won't look good on her. Lorelai encourages her and says it'll look good. Emily says, "All right. But if I look ridiculous..." "...I'll be the first one to point it out," Lorelai finishes. Emily puts the lipstick on as Lorelai taunts, "You're a vicious trollop! You're a vicious trollop!" The lipstick looks good. Everybody's happy. Off to dinner. They check the menu. Both women are very disappointed. Tofu. Steamed. Mung Bean. Lorelai grabs her coat and tells Emily to get hers. She says they're going to leave the spa, find a restaurant, and have a steak. "Who's gonna stop us?" Lorelai asks. A steak sounds pretty good to Emily right about now. Emily says, "Let's go!" and runs to get her coat. What a good scene.

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Gilmore Girls

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