Gilmore Girls
There's The Rub

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | 3 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Adultery, Theft, and Lies

Cut to later. Emily is still talking as she and Lorelai walk down a hallway. This time, she's saying she can't believe the mud bath really was a bath of mud, and that it's not a figure of speech. Lorelai pouts silently down the hallway as Emily keeps chatting about how sitting in a pot of hot mud should have made her ill until they reach the door with the Bugs Bunny-esque "Quiet Room" sign posted on it. Lorelai walks inside. Emily follows, talking about the twigs inside the mud bath. Pause: two, three, four. The door opens, and Lorelai pushes Emily out of the room. Emily tells her to stop pushing. Lorelai punches the door and points at the "Quiet Room" sign. Emily rolls her eyes and sighs. Lorelai lets Emily back into the room.

Lorelai is getting a massage. "How's the pressure?" her masseur asks. "Too much?" The camera pans up and we can see Emily is at the next table getting a massage at the same time. "Yep," Lorelai mutters. Emily tells her masseur that his hands are amazing. That's two "amazing"s this episode. Emily tells Lorelai to compliment her masseur's hands. "Oh, my God," Lorelai moans. "Excuse me?" Emily asks. Lorelai says it was nothing. Emily says she knows that when Lorelai mutters under her breath, it's usually about Emily. Lorelai leans up to complain that Emily signed them up for a couple's massage. Wow, Lauren Graham looks hot in that mulberry sheet. Lorelai says that a couple's massage is for a "couple" and not "a couple of people." Emily says that this way is more efficient, because they'll both be finished at the same time. Lorelai says that most people have sex after these massages: "Together. Probably while wearing their robes." Emily asks the masseurs to give them a few minutes of privacy. Emily leans up and tells Lorelai that her comment was appalling. Lorelai says it's true. Emily says, "You're just determined to spoil this, aren't you, Lorelai?" Lorelai says she just wants a quiet, private massage. Emily says that Lorelai's been pouting, sulking, and sighing. Lorelai says that she hasn't been sighing. Yes, she has. Emily points out that Lorelai's been rolling her eyes and mumbling. "Well, that's how I detox," Lorelai says. Emily tells Lorelai that she's been miserable on purpose since they got there. Lorelai pouts that it's not true. Emily says that it is, and that if Lorelai doesn't care that she's hurting Emily's feelings, maybe she'll feel sorry for wasting all of this relaxing time acting like "a petulant four-year-old." Lorelai pouts, wiggles, and gives a reluctant "I'm sorry." Emily says she can try to get another room: "I saw a supply closet down the hall. Maybe my masseur can finish me there." Hee. That's so my mom. Lorelai says it's not necessary. "Or perhaps I could roll myself against a stucco wall and eliminate the need for a masseur altogether." Lorelai politely asks Emily to lie down. Emily tells Lorelai to go get their masseurs. Lorelai drapes her sheet around herself and sighs. Fade to first commercial break, I do believe. My poor fingertips.

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Gilmore Girls

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