Gilmore Girls
There's The Rub

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | 3 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Adultery, Theft, and Lies

Emily and Lorelai walk into the spa. Emily loves it. She loves the smell. Everything is lovely. She tells Lorelai to try the cucumber water. Emily just thinks the entire thing is precious and darling. Lorelai says she'll be happy if there's Ranch dressing in the soap dispensers. Emily says she loves it there, and that she feels more relaxed already. Lorelai warns Emily that this is how they get you in the Moonies. Emily loves the water and asks Lorelai to try it. Lorelai's not really a "team player" here, and says that they should just check in instead. Emily tells Bobby the desk clerk that they are there. Bobby says they're all set. He gives them their room keys and itineraries. Emily says they plan on leaving the spa "completely different people." Lorelai smiles and says, "Yes, I'm going to be Ted Nugent." Bobby tells them that fruit and yogurt is served by the pool in the morning, and that the lunch and dinner stuff's on the itinerary. Lorelai asks where she can get a cup of coffee. Bobby explains to Lorelai that the spa doesn't serve anything caffeinated. "And you think that's safe?" Lorelai asks. Emily politely ushers Lorelai away. Lorelai pouts that there's no coffee. Emily tells Lorelai that it won't kill her to go two days without coffee. "No! I think it will!" Lorelai responds. Emily asks Lorelai just to focus on all the wonderful things they're going to do. Lorelai looks at the itineraries and complains that they've screwed it up. "Again?" Emily asks. Turns out Emily had called the spa when she saw they were scheduled opposite each other for everything, and had them arrange it so that they were together. You know, mother-daughter style. Lorelai admits defeat. Emily says she even moved their pedicures to the same room so that they can talk while they get them. "Okay, I'm really gonna need a cup of coffee!" Lorelai says.

CuteDean and Rory leaning on a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Almost two years, and Rory still hasn't let CuteDean get past first base. Poor, patient CuteDean. Rory tells CuteDean that his lung capacity has improved. CuteDean says it's from all the basketball he's been playing. No wonder their kisses have looked so crappy since that first one (back when the actors were dating). She doesn't let him breathe while they kiss! CuteDean says he was thinking that since Lorelai's going to be gone tonight, he could come over. "Oh" is the disappointed response from the Worst Girlfriend Ever. She tells CuteDean she wanted a "hermit thing" tonight. "Why?" the world asks in unison. Rory gives a "J.D. Salinger" excuse. CuteDean and everyone with a libido can't figure out why Rory wouldn't want him to come over, at least for a little while, so that they can spend some quality time together. Rory says she almost never gets the house to herself, and that she was going to do her laundry exactly the way she likes it, by separating all of the laundry into sub-piles of colors and whites and towels and sheets. This girl is lame, you guys. Break up with her, CuteDean. You deserve better. Some girl's picking a delicates load over your kisses. Rory also wants to be alone to watch television and eat the Indian food she loves (loves the food, only likes the boy) since Lorelai hates the smell. Can't you do all of these things on Saturday or Sunday and have the boy over on Friday night? Then she plans on going to bed early. She asks if CuteDean's mad. "Why would I be mad?" he asks. I can make up a quick list if you'd like, CuteDean. I'll put it under the windshield wiper of the car that you made your ungrateful girlfriend. Rory promises CuteDean that the entire next day will be all about him. From morning until evening, they'll be together. "Just don't be mad," she says, like CuteDean beats her and mentally abuses her. CuteDean reminds her that he's not mad. CuteDean replies, "I'm confused, but I'm not mad. I'm a saint, but I'm not mad." Amen. Rory tells CuteDean to inhale a deep breath so that she can kiss him again. What a weird girl she's becoming.

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Gilmore Girls

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