Gilmore Girls
The Lorelais' First Day At Chilton

Episode Report Card
The Lorelais' First Day At Chilton

Lorelai handles an argument between her valet and a tenant about a scratched car. She offers the guest some free food from Sookie's kitchen and turns on her little-girl charm, and the guy is suddenly all, "Aw, shucks, ma'am," and backs down. I don't care how Connecticut this city is, that's bullshit. The guest would already have an estimate drawn up and would be demanding a free room along with his free lunch, along with free rooms for all of his friends. The valet stammers an apology to Lorelai who says it's going to be just fine. Bullshit again, as the valet would quit before he took any guest yelling at him. The valet melts, flirts, blushes, and walks away. Michel walks up and Frenchly announces that Lorelai has a guest. It's the Chilton Dad. He just stopped by to meet a business partner because he thought, "Why not meet him in a beautiful inn?" He asks Lorelai to dinner. She says no because he's a Chilton Dad and doesn't want anything to go wrong for Rory when she's first starting out. He says that he's going to China for a week on business and when he gets back he's going to ask her again. He takes her card and says he'll call her soon. Lorelai watches him leave. "He does that so well." Michel says that she's making him sick. She asks him to walk so she can see his butt leave. He asks her to leave him alone as she prances behind him and teases.

Drella has a large gathering of guests watching her play. She gets to the climax of the song, drops the harp and shouts, "That's lunch."

Rory struggles with her new locker, which won't open no matter what combination she tries. She struggles until she yanks backwards, falling into Paris, who drops her giant project onto the floor. It's some sort of castle, and it's shattered. Rory keeps apologizing, saying it was an accident, as Paris is very quietly picking up the broken pieces. "Is there water in that moat?" Rory asks. "Get away from me," Paris sneers, and gets up and just leaves the broken project on the floor. I don't really understand how she's allowed to do that or why she'd do that, but I never got the permit to be Head Snotty Blonde at any of my schools, so I'm not exactly sure how the rules are listed for one.

Rory walks into her next class and, sure enough, it's the same one that Paris is in. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Paris says. I can't believe she's not crying, screaming, and Veruca Salting all over the place, so she's some sort of "kick her ass later" smart-girl bully that we rarely saw in my parts. "Hey, Mary," Philllipppe sneers as she sits down. Rory pulls her skirt down over her knees. The instructor asks Paris for her project. Paris stands up and says she doesn't have it. The teacher asks if she had enough time to prepare for the project. Paris said she did. "And yet you don't have it done?" "Nope." The teacher announces that Paris will receive an incomplete. Rory stands up and says that it's her fault. The teacher asks who she is. As the "Are you a Rory or a Lorelai" thing goes on again for the third time in two episodes, Paris tells Rory to stay out of it. The teacher asks Rory when she wrecked the project. "Just now." "How convenient." Rory insists that it was her fault as Paris yells at her to stop. The teacher tells Rory she has until tomorrow to help Paris fix the project. Rory says that's fine. Paris continues to yell and snot that she doesn't want Rory's help and just wants her to stay out of it. How is she allowed to just yell at other girls like that? The teacher tells Paris that if she doesn't want Rory's help that she has until tomorrow to complete the project by herself. As Paris sits down, the teacher introduces Rory to the class. They all say in unison, "Hello, Rory," except for Philllipppe, who shouts above everyone, "Hello, Mary!" but in that "Hello, Nurse!" sort of way, instead of in that Jackee way that's my favorite. Strange, quiet fade-to-commercial.

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Gilmore Girls




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