Gilmore Girls
The Lorelais' First Day At Chilton

Episode Report Card
The Lorelais' First Day At Chilton

Rory is sitting in the headmaster's office (it's suddenly much darker outside) as he's going through her portfolio. Rory unfortunately doesn't have many after-school activities, so the headmaster asks about her aspirations. She wants to travel, to see things. She doesn't necessarily have to be in television or journalism, but she wants to go out and see the world. She wants to major in Journalism and Political Science. The headmaster, while clearly charmed by Rory's self-deprecating humor, stands up and goes on about how he's been very good friends with her grandparents for a long time. It doesn't mean she's going to get any special treatment. In fact, she'll probably fail this semester since she's already quite behind. He tells her that failing is a part of life, "but not a part of Chilton."

Rory brings her portfolio to the registration office, where it is quickly picked up by a student worker and tossed out the window to the waiting girls crouched in bushes. As one girl reads Rory's accolades aloud, the girl behind her begins complaining of spiders. "Lorelai Gilmore," she reads. "Nice stripper name," says another. They notice that Rory's a journalism major. "That means she's gonna go out for the school newspaper," says snotty blonde against the wall. Snotty blonde holding the portfolio snots back, "Not necessarily. She's got like, a thousand recommendations in here." "I hate nature!" the girl in the back shouts. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's spotting lines ripped-off from The Goonies. Snotty blonde with the portfolio wonders why the school is letting new kids in. It's just ruining the grade curve. They hand the portfolio back through the window.

Rory is getting her paperwork. She gets a locker, a schedule, and the words to the school song. She must be able to recite them on command, and if she knows the words in Latin she'll get extra credit. She's told that if she has any questions she can schedule a meeting with her guidance counselor: "He handles everything but pregnancy and bulimia. For that you'll have to go to the school nurse. Or Coach Rubins. Welcome to Chilton."

Lorelai enters the diner with her dry cleaning and sits down at the counter. She complains that she's had the longest day of her life and it's only ten in the morning. "There's no coffee," Mr. Nutrition says to her. She says that's not funny. He offers her some herbal tea. They go back and forth about coffee long enough for me to notice the new addition to the diner: a giant "No Cell Phones" sign that hangs in the back. It looks like it's been there for twenty years, which again makes me wonder why they'd distress a sign about a new technological device. He eventually tells her that he was kidding and goes back to get her coffee. "You're sick," she says. "You're sick. You're a sadist. You're a fiend!" He walks back in with the coffee pot. "You're pretty," she purrs. Mr. Nutrition asks if she knows what coffee does to her central nervous system. "Ooh, do you have a chart? Because I love charts." Lorelai tells Mr. Nutrition that Rory started Chilton. He starts asking her why she'd wear such an outfit to take Rory to Chilton. She says the fuzzy clock didn't purr on time. "Purr on time?" he asks. "It's fuzzy. It purrs." She decides not to justify her outfit any longer and leaves.

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Gilmore Girls




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