Gilmore Girls
The Hobbit, The Sofa, And Digger Stiles

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Parents Just Don't Understand!

Lorelai's at home, and all you MILF fans are gonna get even creepier when you see she's wearing a pair of cat-eye glasses. Lorelai runs as fast as the strummy-strummy-la-la music into the kitchen, grabbing a napkin and a plate. She hustles out of the kitchen, peeking into her bag of food. She takes the phone off the hook and jams it under her chin, making her way over to the couch. She sits down, sipping her drink. The phone rings. Lorelai answers: "They burnt my fries, forgot to give me an extra side of barbecue sauce, the Jeep is making that crunchy sound again, and I have to spend my evening making elf ears for Aaron Thompson's Lord of the Rings party." Rory, who's eating her own Tupperware meal, says, "Grandma broke into my dorm and redid the entire common room in $25,000 worth of furniture and stereo equipment." Lorelai: "You win." Rory says she feels like she's at Uday's house. Lorelai asks what the roommates thought of their new room. Rory says that Tana still doesn't know she's at Yale, Paris saw it and said nothing (prompting Lorelai to moan that Paris must be planning something for later), and Janet's out jogging. Rory hopes that Janet is pleased, because she's in shape and can kick Rory's butt. Lorelai says that Rory should put something on television for Janet when she gets home -- something soothing to runners, that goes in a circle over and over again. Rory says that the redecoration is a total invasion of privacy, and that some of the furniture Emily got rid of might have belonged to someone. Janet comes home at this point, sweaty and still working out, and waves at Rory, who waves back. As Lorelai goes off on her Emily Rant of the Week, Janet pulls out an exercise ball and proceeds to do push-ups in front of Rory, who's still eating chips. Lorelai actually does an "I told you so" here, and Rory tells her not to gloat. Lorelai tells Rory to do almost exactly what she's already done -- to tell Emily she appreciates the gesture, and that the furniture is lovely, but that because it's a dorm room, Rory has her roommates to worry about, and there's a chance this nice stuff could be stolen. Rory says that sounds good. Lorelai tells her then how Emily will call her ungrateful and small-minded. Rory pouts and says she can keep the furniture. Lorelai tells her to say something if she feels strongly, but that she should be prepared, and that Emily did all of this to Lorelai without the furniture.

Richard comes home to find Emily picking out fabric for the sitting room. Richard dismissively chooses one. Emily barks that she was looking for exactly his kind of enthusiasm. Richard says that Emily has excellent taste, and that whatever she chooses will be fine. Emily asks if he needs ice, comments that he seems tired, and reminds him that some men retire. Richard says that some men tattoo their mothers' names on their biceps. He says he needs a drink and a nice meal. Emily tells him that he got a phone call from Jason Stiles today. "Digger Stiles?" Richard asks. He says that he has nothing to say to him. Emily says that Jason might have something interesting to say to him. Richard reminds us that Jason works for the company that let Richard go, and that they phased him out unceremoniously. Richard says that Digger's probably been sent to do his father's dirty work: "It's not enough to fire me; they have to continue to harass me now that I'm gone." Richard pronounces it "hair-iss." Emily says she thought Richard always liked Digger. Richard says he liked Digger when Digger was Richard's personal assistant, but not as his father's heir apparent. Emily says that Richard doesn't have to return the call if he doesn't want to, but that Digger's coming for dinner the next night. Emily says she was only being polite in asking Digger to dinner, since he was insistent upon speaking with Richard, but that she can cancel if Richard feels strongly enough about it. Richard says that Digger can come over, but that he's not staying for a drink. Emily says she'll hide the liquor bottle so that Digger doesn't get any bright ideas. Richard says it's extremely comforting to have such an understanding wife at times like these. "I'm so glad," Emily says.

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Gilmore Girls

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