Gilmore Girls
The Hobbit, The Sofa, And Digger Stiles

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Parents Just Don't Understand!

Paris is enjoying the Yale party, asking everyone if they're having a good time. She introduces herself to everyone, including a man leaning against a wall who's clearly thirty-six years old. Paris's room is full of jocks, making each other do push-ups. She runs over to Rory and declares that they have the best room. Whatever. Rory -- who isn't enjoying herself at all (nor is she drinking from one of the red or blue plastic cups) -- sneaks into her bedroom to find out what's happening in Atonement. Then she stops and thinks for a second. She gets up and leaves again.

Rory walks all the way out into the main hallway, where she happens to bump into Louisa and Fraulein, who just happen to be showing up! Fraulein's hair is short because she's in that Gina Gershon movie. "I thought you were supposed to be at Mills!" Rory says. "Mills went bye-bye before I unpacked my shoes," Fraulein says. Louisa tells her that Fraulein's been hanging with her over at Tulane. Fraulein's not going to college? I worry for her. And I'm really curious as to how these two girls have been "party-hopping" from New Orleans to New Haven on the first week of classes. Louisa's somehow dating a Harvard man, which is where they're headed next. He's going to be a writer, he hopes, and right now is freaking out that The Simpsons won't be around when he graduates. [Insert Comic Book Guy voice here.] There's no way in hell that Louisa would date a smarty who wants to write for The Simpsons. [end CBG.] Rory says that Paris is around there somewhere. Fraulein hopes Paris is over by the guy over there, because that's where she's heading. "We'll be back," Louisa purrs to Rory as they slink away to skank up Suite 3.

Rory spots her quiet guy from earlier. He's leaning into a corner, holding a red plastic cup. Rory appears to be heading his direction, but she's stopped by a pair of blonde twins, the kind who finish each other's sentences. They quickly try to determine the proper nickname for Rory, and I'm glad they don't settle on "Ro-Ro." The girls are Kate and Nicki, and they've been sent over by Emily to be friends with Rory. Emily and the twins' mom are DARlings. Rory says it was nice meeting them, but that she has to find her roommate. The girls follow Rory back into her room. They lead Rory over to the couch as they debate giving her an astrological nickname. The twins begin conversing with each other about Emily's good taste, as Rory sits between them. Somehow they already got the memo that Emily decorated Rory's room. The twins then make me laugh by leaning in, upset, practically shouting at each other. Kate: "Did Mom tell you about Christmas?" Nicki: "Yes! Hawaii." Kate: "Can't even imagine what's going through her mind." Nicki: "Walt Disney could not even imagine what was going through her mind." And then, for some reason, we fade to commercial.

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Gilmore Girls

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