Gilmore Girls
The Bracebridge Dinner

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Ye Olde Plote

Lane is wearing the cutest hat in the world as she walks through fake snow with CuteDean. He asks if she's going to the Independence dinner. Lane says she's trying to trick her mother into not coming with her. "How's that coming along?" CuteDean asks. "How's that Pixies reunion coming along?" she asks. CuteDean laughs like he's ever bought a Pixies album and I check again for a bug in my fireplace. Also, I'd like to add here that they've been totally setting it up this season that Rory will get tired of CuteDean and Lane will be interested because her mother allows her to kind of see CuteDean because MamaLane thinks that CuteDean is with Rory. Lane walks away just in time for CuteDean to see a ridiculously fake fight that nobody is watching. I hate when they do school fights on television. They always look so retarded. It's Jess and some blond kid and they fake fight all over the place until CuteDean breaks them up for no reason at all except to make it look, in the commercials, like he's fighting with Jess. Jess gets a few punches into CuteDean for no real reason, and absolutely nobody is hurt or has caused any commotion whatsoever. CuteDean asks Jess what his problem is and why he kept punching. Jess says he just had some momentum. He tells CuteDean that he didn't need his help. End of pointless scene as CuteDean purses his lips in a way that makes me love him less.

Gilmore home. Lorelai asks Rory if Bootsy RSVPed. He did, because Daniel wrote him, and he's coming alone. Lorelai jokes that he's putting him in the same room as Luke. Rory says that Jess is coming with Luke. Lorelai says she'll put Jess in the same room as Miss Patty. "There'll be no Jess left in the morning," Rory says. Is Jess made of cake? Rory picks up a stack of Christmas cards and asks if they are from this year. She points out that last year's cards were sitting there at Halloween. But that would mean that these couldn't have been last year's cards. Lorelai: "Hey, if that was a crack at my housekeeping skills...well then, okay." Rory points out that one of those babies is horribly ugly. Lorelai says that's Rory's second cousin, an offspring of their ugly first cousin Stan. She says that that baby isn't even the ugliest one of the bunch. Rory finds the ugliest baby and flinches. She asks why people put pictures on cards. Lorelai wonders how they couldn't know that she and Rory are unapologetic mockers. "There's an unexplained innocence in the world," Rory says. She finds another card from Christopher and Sherri. Lorelai feigns surprise. Rory says that Sherri is pretty. Lorelai agrees and adds that she looks like a young Tammy Faye Baker. "But prettier than that," Rory adds. Lorelai asks why room 31 is empty. Rory asks if a "certain depressed man and his wife could stay there." Lorelai: "Woody and Soon-Yi?" Rory says she was referring to Richard and Emily. She says that something needs to cheer Richard up. Lorelai offers to send them a Def Comedy Jam tape. Rory pouts until Lorelai pencils them in. Rory tells Lorelai not to hope that Emily and Richard will say no, because, coupled with the ugly baby mess, that would be too much bad karma. Lorelai tells Rory that she needs to become more cynical and self-absorbed in the new year. Rory promises to work on it. Rory walks off and Lorelai flips the ugly baby card face-down.

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Gilmore Girls

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