Gilmore Girls
Secrets And Loans

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | 1 USERS: A+

And we're at the halftime show. Let's see. What can I tell you? Huh. The first time I got my period I was so embarrassed I thought that I could hide everything from my parents forever. I just didn't know much about pads and I had no idea how to put in a tampon. So I wore this giant pad I found in the depths of my mother's closet. And then I flushed it. And then I used another. And flushed that. And another. Then someone used the toilet after me. When they flushed the toilet, a river of pads, water, body waste and blood flooded the bathroom floor. I was crying in my room, covered in shame. My dad opened the door and said, "You're not supposed to flush those. You just put them all in a box and then when you're old and menopausal, you can pull them out one by one and relive your youth." I screamed at him to get out. He had no idea that one day, eight years later, I could finally see the humor in that statement.

And we're back. Lorelai's at her bank appointment. She sees Emily sitting in a chair. She says, "You're not seriously sitting there." Emily says that it's actually a hologram. She adds that she knows Miles, and thought her presence in the meeting would help. Lorelai leaves. Emily follows her. Lorelai says she's not going into a business meeting with her mommy -- not without her blankie. She says that Emily is butting in on Lorelai's business. Emily says that Lorelai's pride is hurting her home. Lorelai says she'll go in there, but that Emily's not allowed to say a word. She can ask about Miles's wife, and that's it. She says she won't do it unless Emily promises to be quiet. Emily promises.

The bank president is Larry from Three's Company. I'll call him Larry because nobody remembers that he was recently on Inside Schwartz. Larry offers to get Emily some coffee. Lorelai is bumbling and awkward. Emily is all smiles. Lorelai asks Emily why she's so chatty. Emily says that asking for coffee isn't chatting, and that she still hasn't asked him how his wife is doing. Larry asks the women into his office.

Inside, Larry says he heard about Richard retiring. He asks if they have any plans. Emily says they're discussing a trip around the world. Larry says they should get down to business. He asks about the loan. Lorelai says that before they discuss the loan, Emily wants to know how his wife is doing. Larry stammers that she's fine. Then he says he understands that Lorelai has termites. He tries to wax nostalgic about when Emily and Richard had a foundation problem a few years back. Lorelai stops Emily from talking; she says she appreciates Larry taking the time to meet her, that Emily is only there as a silent...silent, and that Lorelai just wants to be treated like anybody else who asks for a loan. Larry goes through her file and asks whether she has any other money not listed. He asks a few more bank-like questions and then turns her down for the loan. Lorelai asks if there's anything else. Larry says that being well liked isn't grounds for granting a loan. Lorelai says she pays off all her debts and works really hard. Larry says she just doesn't qualify. Lorelai says her child is used to having a roof over her head and she can't leave without a loan. She asks what else she can do. Larry says she could have a co-signer on the loan. Emily smiles. Lorelai says, "You knew about this, didn't you? Mom?" Emily: "Huh?" Lorelai: "Would you be willing --" Emily: "It would be my pleasure." ["And after the assy way Lorelai was treating her -- preventing her from talking? What is that? Lorelai came across as a social retard! -- Lorelai totally doesn't deserve such a gracious answer." -- Wing Chun] Larry says he'll draw up the papers right away, and leaves to get more coffee for Emily.

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Gilmore Girls




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