Gilmore Girls
Presenting Lorelai Gilmore

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Balls. But Not In That Funny Way.

Lorelai and Christopher leave Miss Patty's and walk through Stars Hollow. Lorelai is amazed that she still remembers all of those steps. Christopher wishes he didn't, and wonders how much brain space he could free up if he didn't remember how to do the Viennese Waltz. Lorelai adds that she also has brain space occupied by Brady Bunch reruns and the lyrics to "Rapture." Christopher sneers into his chai latte, and Lorelai teases him for ordering a chai latte in the first place. She mentions that Luke wouldn't know what a chai anything is. Christopher says it's probably just tea with a cinnamon stick. Lorelai says she's pretty sure it's not a cinnamon stick. Christopher tosses the cup away. She asks why he'd order a chai latte in the first place. He says that everyone at work drinks them. She says that since he still hasn't told her what he does for a living, she's now going to assume he's either a yoga instructor or a chiropractor. He says a sentence that I hear as, "Blah blah tech blee dot com scale back blah blah market blee hard times." He adds that they dress as superheroes as they do it. Lorelai asks how long he plans on keeping this job. He says he'll be there at least until Tuesday. He notes that he always used to hate being at a certain place at a certain time, but now he really appreciates the stability. He likes feeling like he's done something at the end of the day, and that it only took ten years and several failed business ventures for him to realize that he doesn't want his parents' life. He adds that that's something Lorelai figured out when they were sixteen. Lorelai actually knew that at six months, she corrects him, but she couldn't vocalize it yet. Christopher says he was always jealous of her for going out and getting what she wanted. Lorelai notes that he seems to be catching up. She looks over at Rory dancing in the studio and tells Christopher that he did good. He says that he did good, but the fact that Rory can't follow a lead is Lorelai's fault. Christopher looks away so that Lorelai can stare at him and become increasingly smitten as we fade to commercial.

Y'all. This week I'm recapping my final Popstars before we move the show into Permanent Hiatus. I know you don't care, but I'll miss recapping that half-hour crapfest. It kept my aggressions away from this show.

Rory is on the couch painting her toenails. I would have been in so much trouble for that. She's going to spill nail polish on the couch and get grounded for a month. Well, she's not, but I would have. Lorelai slowly walks over carrying a book on her head, bragging that she's able to walk with a book on her head while eating Kung Pao Chicken with chopsticks out of a container at the same time. In the background, Christopher is teaching CuteDean how to tie a bowtie. These kids sure have to be supervised all the time. I was always hiding out with my high-school boyfriends so we could have maximum make-out time. Rory goes to get the last egg roll out of the container, and Lorelai blocks her. She tells Rory that a lady never reaches for the last egg roll. In fact, a lady never reaches or gets anything for herself. She sits and waits for someone to do everything for her. "They don't even get their own ideas," Lorelai says. Rory says a "phooey" to that and starts digging into the egg-roll container. CuteDean asks Christopher how he knows so much about bowties. Christopher says he went to dozens of cotillions and balls and had one experience with the Children of the American Revolution, where Lorelai points out that Christopher wore only the bowtie. CuteDean asks Christopher whether he thinks it's cool when Neil Young wears a tux. Christopher says that he does, but it's because he's Neil Young, and not because he's wearing a tux. CuteDean gives the appropriate reaction to Rory. He rips off the tie and kisses Rory goodbye, saying he'll see her at three. What day is it? Did we miss Friday dinner? Rory hands CuteDean a box and says that his gloves are inside it. "I thought you were kidding," he says. "Oh, no," Lorelai laughs. "Ladies never kid." CuteDean pouts off. Rory gets up and says something that sounds like she's going to bed. Lorelai asks whether she needs help. Rory says she doesn't, and Lorelai says that's the wrong answer. Rory says goodnight and hobbles off with her toenail dryers still stuck in between her toes. So, it's bedtime, so I guess CuteDean meant he'll see her at three tomorrow? So it's Friday night tonight? Where was dinner?

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Gilmore Girls

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