Gilmore Girls
Presenting Lorelai Gilmore

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
Balls. But Not In That Funny Way.

Lorelai is sitting at her kitchen table doing something that looks suspiciously like she's highlighting in a book. Oh, right. Those business classes we always hear about but never really see. The inn. Right. I'll just keep the storyline going, since they're dropping it for now. Rory walks in and announces that she's coming out. Lorelai doesn't make any of the seventeen thousand jokes that she could leap on right now (like, "If your belly button just announced that instead of your mouth, you're moving out" or "Poor Dean, he'll be crushed") and instead asks Rory what she's talking about. Rory says that she's going to be presented as a lady. She explains what's going to happen as Lorelai slowly but surely gets nauseous and disgusted. Lorelai says that Rory's talking to Emily and the DAR fancy ladies is like "accepting the position as the drummer for Spinal Tap." I sure hope you teens studied up on your 1970s Pop Culture for this episode. Lorelai keeps getting disgusted until Rory reminds her that there's cake at the ball. Lorelai always perks up for cake. Lorelai grabs the phone to call Emily; she promises she'll get Rory out of this. Rory doesn't want out of this, though; she wants to do something that will make Emily so happy. Lorelai says that Emily will get people to do all kinds of things they don't really want to do. She adds that she's still convinced that Emily had something to do with getting Lily Tomlin to do that movie with John Travolta. Okay, that one I had to look up. She's talking about Moment By Moment, a movie about a stripper (John Travolta) falling in love with an older woman (Tomlin), and it's supposed to be horrible. Travolta must have done this movie since his older woman lover from The Boy in the Plastic Bubble had just died of cancer and he was still all in love with her and not Kelly Preston ever. I can't imagine that film is supposed to be common knowledge when I've never heard of it and Djb's never heard of it. ["Since we're tallying up, I had heard of the title but didn't know who was in it." -- Wing Chun] I have a copy of The Boy in the Plastic Bubble. I own John Travolta Sings. I have all things Travolta. I have a Welcome Back Kotter t-shirt.

Anyhoo, Rory says that this is important to Emily, and that if it's that important to her, she might as well do it. Lorelai says that these kinds of parties say, "Hi! I'm Rory. I'm of good breeding and of marriageable age and I will now parade around in front of young men of similarly good breeding and marriageable age so they can all take a good long look at me." She says it's no different than animals at the county fair getting judged, except "sheep don't wear hoop skirts." Rory says that Lorelai doesn't have to be a part of it. Lorelai says she'll do it if Rory wants her to, but that it's weird because it's all the stuff she ran away from as a kid, and she always expected Rory to run away from it all, too. Rory says, "Well, I would, but I heard debutantes don't run. Something about the heels." They sit down at the table as Lorelai starts to plan it all out. She says that Rory will need a dowry, so she hands Rory a cow creamer. "Shoes, hose, gloves. Some mice, a dog, a pumpkin." Rory pouts and says that her father is supposed to present her at the ceremony. She says it's no big deal: "I can get somebody else to do it. Grampa, probably. Or Taylor. Or the cable guy." Oh, please let it be Taylor. Lorelai grabs the phone to call Christopher. Lorelai calls and hears that the number has been changed. She writes down the new number. Rory says that Christopher won't come. Lorelai says that Rory can't know unless she asks, and that the cable guy isn't going anywhere. Lorelai calls and Christopher answers the phone.

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Gilmore Girls




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