Gilmore Girls
Presenting Lorelai Gilmore

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
Balls. But Not In That Funny Way.

Richard and Emily march down the stairs, Emily holding out a tape recorder. She asks Richard to say "the tea thing" again. Richard says that Emily is acting like a child. They make it to the bottom of the stairs and see Rory and Lorelai for the first time. Lorelai applauds. "I'm sorry," she says, "does Terrence McNally know about you two? Give me the phone!" Wow. Three theatre references in just the opening piece. ["Four if you count The Sound of Music." -- Wing Chun]

Hey, you kids on the east coast might see a commercial for SunCom that shows a bunch of people dressed as states celebrating the addition of new states to the calling area. They dance and play sports as "Happy Together" plays in the background. New Hampshire? In purple? My roommate. Does it make you hold your stomach and gasp in laughter, or is it just because New Hampshire walks around my apartment in boxer shorts?

Luke's. Lorelai reads over Rory's latest paper as Rory moans, "It sucks. I know it sucks. Just tell me it sucks." Lorelai, of course, tells her that it does not suck at all. She says it's an "A" or an "A plus" or anything higher than an "A plus" as Rory tells her that mothers aren't supposed to lie to their children. She says the real world is much harsher and that she can't get a false sense of pride. She says she wants to know right now if she's going to be working at CNN or walking around the CNN offices carrying a basket of sandwiches. Lorelai insists that the paper is great. Luke brings over more coffee and quickly asks whether the girls need anything else. Lorelai asks what the rush is all about. Luke moans that he was supposed to have help this morning (with an obvious glance toward the most likely still-sleeping Jess), but he doesn't, and now he's swamped. He says that if the girls don't order soon, he'll bring them egg-white omelets with a side of steamed spinach. Lorelai and Rory quickly order pancakes and French toast. Jess immediately pops into the room wearing a Metallica t-shirt. Luke doesn't like it and tells Jess to go upstairs and change because his shirt is gross. Jess says he likes his shirt. "How can you like that shirt?" Luke asks. "It brings out my eyes," Jess snarks. Luke says that part of the deal with Jess staying there is that he works at the diner, and when he's working he has to dress like he's there to work and not to go to a rock concert. This is coming from the guy who dresses for work like he's about to fix Ann Romano's toilet. ["Dude, I wish." -- Wing Chun] I just showed my age there, too, didn't I? ["Whoops, me too!" -- Wing Chun] What the hell, this entire episode is for the over-thirty set (which I'm not, but I'm very mature for my age. Shut up) and was written by one of the producers, it seems from the credits. Jess leaves with a "Whatever you say, Uncle Luke." Lorelai tells Rory, "Gross shirt." They both agree that it's a great band, but a gross shirt.

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Gilmore Girls




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