Gilmore Girls
Presenting Lorelai Gilmore

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Balls. But Not In That Funny Way.

Lorelai tells the bartender that he's a wonderful, wonderful man, and that she's got a feeling they're going to be very close tonight. Emily walks up and gives Lorelai a once-over. Lorelai says she tried calling all night. Emily says she was busy. "And then we got here before you," Lorelai adds. Emily asks for Lorelai's point. Lorelai says she was just worried because she thought it was weird. Emily starts complaining about the flowers. "Baby's breath? What is this, County General?" Hee. Lorelai compliments Emily's dress. Emily hates the tabletops and carpeting. She wanted Rory to be presented in a beautiful ballroom. Lorelai tells Emily that it's fine, and that she's been too hard on everything. Emily leaves to give some woman named Nan a piece of her mind concerning the proper length for tablecloths.

Libby offers Rory a swig from her canteen of Midori Sour. Rory respectfully declines, and Libby starts boozing it up. She says at her last cotillion she was with a girl who couldn't handle her liquor and puked neon green all over her white dress. They all look like ballerinas. I had to wear a white dress for my National Junior Honor Society induction ceremony. It was just like this, but without any money at all. No money. And the only celebrity there was the boy who called my name, who eventually grew up to play for the Houston Rockets. Libby says that this is her fifth coming-out ball this year. She informs Rory that four out of five debs marry their escorts, so she figures one of these boys has to stick. Rory appreciates Libby's logic. Libby asks whether Rory's escort is the one she's going to marry. Rory hasn't ever thought of marriage. She doesn't even like to tell CuteDean that she loves him. She doesn't even like being alone in a room with him, so no, she doesn't think of him as The One. "Is he cute?" Libby asks. "Yes, he is very cute," Rory answers. That's why the ladies call him CuteDean. Double shout-out to me. Katie Heathington with the scab on her face walks up at this point. She dramatically flops her head to the side and asks whether the scab is horrible. It looks like a strip of purple shiny make-up, so I'd say it's not too horrible. It doesn't look like a scab at all. I had a scab that covered half of my face for two months because I ate shit off my bike and slid in gravel on my head, and stupid Adam Browne called me "Scarface Alcapam" every day on the bus. I hate him. And yes, it was funny. It's funny now. Not back then. I cried to my dad about it back then, and my father told me that Adam Browne was a very funny, very smart kid. I hate Adam Browne. I've been recapping for so long that I'm pretty sure I've told the Scarface Alcapam story before, but I have no way of knowing which recap I threw it into over the past three years. ["Sure you do -- the search engine! Which says this is the first time you've told it on Mighty Big TV." -- Wing Chun]

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Gilmore Girls

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