Gilmore Girls
Norman Mailer, I'm Pregnant!

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M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
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Mailer than Thou
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Pamie rocked. You know, my wife Trash met up with her and Stee when we were in California last May. I was the wheel man for an evening excursion up the freeway into downtown Los Angeles. Pamie and Stee were in the back seat, and some nights I wake up in a cold sweat thinking how much trouble I'd be in with you people if I'd gotten in a car accident and killed them.

Lorelai answers a knock at her door and gets a kiss from Luke. You can tell they're going out on a date because he's not wearing a hat. Lorelai promises that she's "almost" ready to go, as soon as she finds her keys and finishes the laundry. "That doesn't sound like 'almost,'" Luke frets. "That sounds like we'll speed to the movie, park illegally, you hit the bathroom while I grab the popcorn, we meet back at the seats all sweaty and aggravated." He says "sweaty and aggravated" like it's a bad thing. Also, if it were me doing the laundry, we'd be lucky to catch the movie on DVD. Or whatever comes after DVD. A 3:00 AM. showing on TBS, maybe. Luke further points out that Lorelai left her headlights on (dirty!), and she explains that she did that on purpose because her porch light is burned out. Luke tips the couch up so that she can look under it for her keys; nothing doing. I'd suggest looking in the Jeep with the headlights on, but that's just me. Luke reminds her that car batteries die, but Lorelai's way ahead of him: she knows the battery takes twelve hours to drain, which is two hours longer than it'll be before she leaves for work at 8 in the morning. They're going out at 10? On a school night? When Luke asks why Lorelai doesn't just change her porch light, she launches into a spiel about being afraid of moths and this whole long story about the nonexistent sequel to The Mothman Prophecies that runs almost as long as it takes me to do laundry. Lorelai breezily confesses that the porch light has been out since Rory broke up with Dean the first time: "He was the last one to change it. Jess never changed the porch light, by the way." Well, that might be because Dean is tall, whereas Jess, by contrast, is a prick. The search for Lorelai's keys moves into the kitchen.

"You left your keys in the stove?" Luke demands, and if he's a guy who is supposed to know his way around a kitchen, why does he say "stove" when he means "oven"? Anyway, the oven is where Lorelai left her socks to make them "warm and toasty." And yet they're still damp. She wonders if her oven's broken. Luke wonders if her dryer's broken, a question which seems to strike Lorelai as irrelevant. But she's got her damp socks on now, so she's happy and ready to go. Luke reminds her that her keys are still missing. She wants to just leave the door unlocked, but Luke tells her that's not safe. She insists that it is. Seriously, I don't know what Luke's worried about. It's Stars Hollow. What does he think Kirk's going to do when he wanders in, anyway? But it's okay, because Luke has found Lorelai's keys sticking out of the lock to her kitchen door. I never leave my keys sticking outside the door like that, especially if you've figured out how to find my street address online. Lorelai now remembers: she had to come in the back because the porch light was out. And we've come full circle. Meanwhile, Luke has discovered that the keys are stuck in the door. "Yeah, that happens," Lorelai chirps, and she drapes a kitchen towel over the keys so that they can leave. "I can never pick you up here again," Luke moans.

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Gilmore Girls

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