Gilmore Girls
Lorelai's First Cotillion

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
You Can Dance If You Want To

Zach moodily strums his guitar as he laments to Brian about his relationship with Lane. She's avoiding him, he says, and he's sure she's divorcing him. "I'll admit, it's not the best marriage I've seen," Brian says, supportively. "Although I only have my parents to compare it to, and they are unusually happy." Zach says that he and Lane were happy once, but that it was all ruined by the horrible honeymoon: "Ever since she came home, it's like she's a different person." Brian postulates that perhaps the parasite crawled into her brain and ate the part of it that once was in love with Zach. "I just can't believe it's over," Zach sighs. "I mean, we haven't even written our thank-you notes yet." Brian: "I was gonna say..." Zach plays a few more strummies in his sorrow, and Brian compliments the start of the new tune. "Yeah, the pain is totally helping my music," Zach agrees. They are interrupted by Lane, bursting through the door. "We need to talk," she says, clearly frustrated. Brian slowly begins to creep to a standing position, ready to sneak out of the room. Zach, panicking that this will be the end, stops him with a hand to the knee. "Anything you have to say to me," Zach tells Lane, "you can say in front of Brian." Lane squinches up her face and cuts to the chase: "I'm pregnant." While Brian inches away, Zach's face goes blank. "With a baby?" he asks, frozen in his seat. "But we only did it once." Lane says that once is really all it takes, causing me to throw my remote at the ceiling. Zach's mouth is hanging open as he stands and quickly walks from the room. Lane asks where he's going. Zach yells back, "Brian must be freaking out!"

At the Inn, Lorelai is wearing what is possibly the most unflattering dress I've ever seen her wear -- it makes her look somehow pregnant and assless at the same time -- when Emily arrives with about twenty girls for the tea. Now, how did Emily transport all these children to the Inn? Is she driving them in a bus? If so, I desperately wish I could see that. Emily asks if everything's ready for the tea. "Yes, the tables are set," Lorelai says, primly. "The tea is brewed. And I've hired some extra poor people for the girls to look down on." As the girls titter, and Emily bristles, Charlotte turns to the friend behind her in line: "She's the one I told you about. A regular Imogene Coca." Lorelai smiles as Michel croons over the girls, saying that they're just like Madame Alexander dolls. I, personally, had two Madame Alexander dolls, Victoria and Rebecca, one of whom (okay, it was Victoria) rose to fame by playing Jesus in my school's 1978 Nativity. As Michel sighs, Emily directs the girls to glide to their tables. Lorelai grins when she sees one familiar-looking brunette who, rather than gliding, cracks up the other little ladies by doing a chicken walk.

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Gilmore Girls

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