Gilmore Girls
Lorelai's First Cotillion

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
You Can Dance If You Want To

As Babette returns to attack Luke about the curtains -- which are, he says, exactly the same -- Rory is distracted from the man who was about to be her stepfather by Lane. They sit down at a table, and Rory quizzes her about how Zach took the pregnancy news. "Oh, that," Lane says, casually. "I haven't told him yet." Rory is a bit surprised, and asks how long Lane plans to wait. "I don't know," Lane says. "A couple years." She smilingly justifies the delay, saying that most women wait a full twelve weeks before telling anyone they're pregnant. "Not the husband," Rory says, but Lane says that she needs a little more time to process all of this. "You could wait until the baby comes out," Rory jokes, "and have her tell him." Lane wigs: "'Her'?!" "Or," Rory says, "him!" Lane is fully wigging: "'Him'?! Oh, God, I'm not ready for a him!" Rory assures Lane that she and Zach can have a baby and handle it, though I am not sure how she could have come to that conclusion, considering Zach's previous behavior about...everything, ever.

Lorelai has arrived at work, looking superfly in navy blue, with her hair up. Sookie calls her Miss Fancy Pants. "I'm just trying out a new look, seeing if I like it," Lorelai says. "Serving no master but myself!" Sookie asks if she's going to try pigtails next: "Because that's kind of my thing." Lorelai shakes her head. She's never realized how her mother's reactions influenced everything she's ever done, even down to the way she tied her shoes: "I've always been a fan of the bunny ears, you know? But this morning, I decided not to bunny-ears." It turns out that the bunny ears take a lot longer than the regular way of tying shoes. (How bad are y'all flipping out that there's a whole website where a guy studies shoelace knots? The internet: it never fails to delight and...alarm. Incidentally, I found this just in time for y'all to practice and use the Halloween knot. You're welcome.)"I saved like, three seconds this morning!" Lorelai says of her newfound shoelace knowledge. Sookie, clearly worried, asks what Emily has to do with bunny ears. Lorelai rants, "My mother is everywhere. In my shoes, in my clothes, in my food." Michel walks in to make an announcement: "Your mother is here." Lorelai is aghast, wondering how Emily, who seems so busy messing her up over shoelaces and Pop-Tarts, could also be at the Inn. Sookie innocently reports that Emily is there to taste the menu for the tea. Seeing the blank terror on Lorelai's face, Sookie turns to Michel: "Why doesn't she know what I'm talking about?" Michel: "I was going to tell her. Then I considered what it would be like if I did not tell her, and I thought it would be more fun. I was right." Just as I'm congratulating Michel for being the biggest bitch in the room, Emily breezes in. "Lorelai," she frosts, "do you normally keep your guests waiting like that? It's very rude." Finally, after Lorelai has to yell, Emily reveals that she's bringing the cotillion girls to the Inn the next day for tea as part of their etiquette training. She snits about wanting to take them to town for afternoon tea at the Pierre Hotel, but being shocked and appalled by the hotel's substandard version of what constitutes high tea. She's using the terms high tea and afternoon tea interchangeably, but we know better, right, internet?

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Gilmore Girls

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