Gilmore Girls
Lorelai's First Cotillion

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
You Can Dance If You Want To

The G-Unit quizzes Rory on her summer plans, asking if she has any exciting social engagements coming up. "Not really," Rory says. "Logan's in London, so..." Right, right. I forgot that this brilliant, beautiful twenty-one-year-old was somehow incapable of having a life outside her boyfriend. Because she's an aerie girl.

Finally, the elder Gilmores ask what's new with Lorelai, and she is forced, after much hemming and hawing, to reveal that she and Luke broke up. This is met with...no response whatsoever. Lorelai's parents react with the most minuscule noises, like Lorelai has just told them she had a splinter in her finger, and move immediately back to the cotillion instruction. Lorelai jumps back in, rolling her eyes, smartmouthing that she knows her parents have thoughts on the subject and might as well let them out now so that they can all move on with their lives. "I've moved on," Emily says, all innocence, and Richard adds that he can't think of a thing. They change the subject again, to Rory's delight and Lorelai's disappointment: she busts back in, demanding to know why they're avoiding the subject of her breakup. Emily sighs that there's no point in discussing it. "We couldn't possibly say anything right," she says, quite correctly. "So, why say anything at all?" Even Charlotte, who barely knows the difference between a salad and roast fork, knows it's rude to be held hostage by your hosts' long history of emotional paralysis. As the Gilmores continue to fight, mostly spurred by Lorelai's demands that someone care about her for five minutes, the kid looks desperately to Rory, who tries to get her mother to let it go. "Lorelai," Richard adds, "your mother is simply expressing our regrets that you've ended your relationship with Luke. I hardly see how that's offensive." Excellent point, Grandpa. Except Lorelai is now doubly offended, and starts the "you never liked Luke!" argument. Emily gets mad, and starts bitching that they were, indeed, supportive of the relationship, even willing to buy the couple a huge house. This leads to yet another outburst from Lorelai, prompting Rory to bust out the safe word: "Bangalore! Bangalore! Bangalore." Though the thrice-repeated mantra does not conjure up a demon, as I'd hoped, it does at least end this infernal, eternal scene.

Later that night, Rory is awakened by her ringing cell phone. It's Logan, calling at the start of his day in London. They proceed to have the awkward conversation of a long-distance couple, one of whom has been awakened in the middle of the night. Rory tries to tell Logan the story of the guy she's tutoring through Paris's program, but she can't think of what's funny about the story and yada yada yada, it's awkward and they have to hang up when Logan has a meeting.

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Gilmore Girls

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