Gilmore Girls
Lorelai's First Cotillion

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
You Can Dance If You Want To

Back at home, Lorelai comes in to run several potential cotillion dresses past Rory. "Wow," Rory says, holding up one pretty black dress. "Can I keep this?" Lorelai says that first she has to help Lorelai to find something to wear, and that then she can have whatever she wants, "except that," she adds, about the black dress. "I'm getting buried in it." Rory still doesn't get why Lorelai is even going to this thing, joking, "Does Michel have compromising photographs of you that I don't know about? Like some snapshots from your perm year?" As if there exists a bad photo of Lauren Graham! Lorelai tells her the story of the Post-Its, trying to trick Rory into going to the cotillion in her place. Rory says that she can't, because she's made "plans with Dad." Lorelai: "Your dad?" Rory says she's not in the habit of calling other people's dads "Dad," (though [insert evil cackling] she might get into that habit if this sex-texting thing takes off with Logan) and that yes, she and Chris are going to dinner. Lorelai says she's glad they're going to dinner, and asks Rory what's up with her clinging to her phone. "I sent Logan a text message yesterday," she says, and "he hasn't written me back." Lorelai assures her that he probably hasn't had time to write back, and asks if she can wear a skank dress to the cotillion. Rory gives her a firm no.

At the house of Lane and Zach, the new would-be parents are practicing avoidance at the dinner table. Finally, Lane insists that they talk. About the baby. Zach takes a moment, and then says, "I'm cool with the whole baby thing. I think Brian might be freaking out a little bit, but that's his problem." Brian allegedly had just gotten used to Zach and Lane being married, and might not be quite ready for a baby. Lane recognizes Zach's attempts at transference, and says that maybe she should talk to Brian, since it sounds like they share the same concerns. She says she's kind of freaking out too, since this is not how she expected their lives to go: "You know, being married for, like, a day, and then suddenly having to take on this new responsibility." Zach finally breaks. Bringing a child into the world, they agree, is major, right? "So you're not all psyched about being knocked up?" Zach asks, tentative. "Are you kidding?!" Lane yells. "This baby sucks!" Yay, it's agreed! The baby totally sucks! Lane whips out the book of grossness, and they both squick out. "Dude. You know how the baby is connected to you by that hose?" Zach asks, squeamish. "And I'm supposed to cut that hose? No way I'm cutting that hose!" Lane is totally relieved: "No way I'm letting you in the ROOM when that thing comes out of me!" (Totally on your team, Lane. I know it's become the thing to have the fathers in the room nowadays, but if I ever have a baby, it's me and, like, one nurse in there, like I'm in the wilderness, or something, and that's it. Who wants their husband in the room?! I don't understand it! My husband is super-sensitive when I say this, and insists that he could handle it like a pro and I'm SURE he could, but, well, hell no. Yada yada yada, mystery of birth, circle of life, etc., whatever -- I'm going it alone. My husband can fold himself onto a two-cushion couch like my dad did when I was born.) Having agreed that their offspring will be a nightmare, Lane and Zach leap into each other's arms, in love.

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Gilmore Girls




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