Gilmore Girls
Kill Me Now

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | 5 USERS: B+
My Grampa and me, like to climb up a tree...

Gramps and Rory walk through the club as he brags about how hard it is to get into this country club. As the caddies set the clubs down behind them, Grampa asks Rory what she knows about golf. Rory quotes Twain to say, "'It's a good walk spoiled.'" Grampa sighs and starts telling Rory about the importance of the driver. Grampa corrects Rory's stance and talks her through her first swing. She whacks a giant amount of grass and dirt into the air. Oh, the good clean fun. I have a wholesome laugh and make another pot of homemade cocoa. Grampa tells her she's doing fine and sets up the ball again. Rory whacks, and more dirt soars into the air. Even Grampa can't help but grimace, knowing that when Palmer shows up next week he's going to throw a gigantic hissyfit. He's not worried about Tiger, however, since the club is way too exclusive to let him in, obviously.

Our favorite weekly exchange is already in progress. Sookie and the Produce Guy (who happens to be Alex Borstein's real-life boyfriend, and who does have a name -- Jackson -- the same name he has on the show) are discussing strawberries this week. He brought her blueberries instead of strawberries, since there weren't any good strawberries this week. She asks to see the strawberries. He says no. Lorelai walks in and asks for some cake to bring to Rory, since she'll need to cheer her up after her golf day. Lorelai does the kitchen recap, which seems to happen to these two characters every week at the halfway point. And just like last week, Michel comes in and announces that Lorelai is needed in the lobby. I listen to what Michel said three times, but I still can't figure it out. Something about "para bout sock wars" and that he's running out of French cuss words to give them.

Oh, the twins are fighting. Oh, Lord, one of them is named Jessica. I'm assuming the other is Elizabeth. DTM walks up and says she can't listen to them argue over soup or salad anymore and that she wants a cab so she can go far away. Lorelai suggests that the guests get a choice of soup or salad. DTM gives a stammering, "That might work," and walks back to the fighting girl-on-girl-hot-blonde-twin action. I really just wrote that to fit "hot-girl-on-girl" and "action" into this Family Funded show. Sookie, Lorelai, and Michel watch the twin brides hug the twin grooms and comment on how creepy it all is. Lorelai has a hard time telling them apart. Michel brags that he can tell the one on the left is Matt and the one on the right is Mark because he's very good at recognizing the subtleties of personality, the sound of their voices, the ins and outs of people. He says that it's a gift. Sookie points out that one of them has a Post-It note on his back. Michel says that then he had it backwards, and that Post-It guy is Mark. Lorelai tells him to take the Post-It note off Mark's back. "I will not. We can't all just call everyone 'Sweetie' and get away with it." Sookie wonders whether, if Mark accidentally had sex with the wrong twin, even if he thought it was his wife, it would count as cheating. Lorelai thinks it wouldn't. Michel finds the entire wedding obscene. Lorelai tells him he won't be giving the wedding toast.

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Gilmore Girls




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