Gilmore Girls
Jews And Chinese Food

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 3 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Woo! Gilmore Girls! Woo!

Jeez -- a promo does THIS to me. Plus the mere sight of his raised eyebrows and rolled-up sleeve mit exposed forearm in the storeroom promo scene...OK, it's not just the ARM, it's the fact that he's holding a phone and talking to Lorelai about HOW THEY KISSED! Holy crap, I'm a goner. I'm gonna be totally boneless from squee-ful lust...

Just wanted you to understand a bit the headspace I'm in tonight, as I sit down to recap the latest episode. While I'm fully aware you cannot please all of the people all of the time, I'm certainly trying my best to please the "Red Stater." That's a phrase they use at the television job I have these days. "Red Stater." I want you to know that's the phrase they use when they mean "total dipshit." I don't feel that way about you. I do try to write to the top of your intelligence. It's just that the powers that be sometimes think you couldn't find your way out of a used bookstore without help from Blue's Clues. Notes like that last gushing squee-fest aren't helping some of y'all's cases. So. In order to attempt to be as mainstream and satisfying to as many people as possible, without losing the audience who actually might enjoy my writing (I know -- "gasp!"), I will recap to two completely different audiences: first for the readers of TelevisionWithoutPity.com, and then for a site I'll just call...Television. (dot org?) To protect myself, however, I shall write my alternate recap under my fanfic-gushing pseudonym "Stac(e)y."

We open at Yale. Strummy-strummy. Lorelai is walking through the quad and takes a flyer that's jammed into her hand. "Oh, thanks," she says, not looking down. She passes extras who are mugging down against pillars. She wears an orange cap, but no scarf, as her shirt is open about three buttons, so I hope she doesn't catch a cold. She walks, walks, walks over to H10, the room of Rory and Paris. She knocks, which is sweet, considering I'd imagine Lorelai would normally burst right in with her latest news. A male voice tells her to come in, and when she opens the door she's a little surprised to see Doyle hanging on the couch, feet on the table. She asks if she has the wrong room. "I wouldn't know," Doyle says. Paris storms out to bitch at Doyle for putting wet towels in her hamper on top of her dry clothes, creating a wet, musty odor. I hate that! Paris introduces Lorelai to Doyle as "Rory's mother." Doyle informs Lorelai that he's "Rory's editor." "And my lover," Paris adds. Hee. Lorelai thinks that's a tad TMI. In the background we see a gigantic poster of Dave Eggers in, like, this Teen Beat shot, with his big ol' feet crossed in front of him and his hand pushing through his hair like he's a J. Crew model. I can't explain how much of a scene-stealer it is. Maybe because it's taller than Doyle. Damn, I can't find it on the internet. I hate when that happens. Doyle says he doesn't think "lover" is the correct term. Paris asks what would be the correct term, then. "At a later time, Paris," Doyle says, trying to keep his smile unbroken. Paris explains to Lorelai that she and Doyle haven't exactly defined the social aspects of their relationship, even though they're having sex three times a week or so. "Paris, I beg you," Doyle practically whimpers. Lorelai offers to wait outside for Rory. Paris realizes she's making Lorelai feel uncomfortable, but tells Doyle she doesn't care if he's uncomfortable. Lorelai swears she's fine, but thinks Doyle and Paris should maybe be alone. Paris apologizes for even talking about love and sex, what with Lorelai currently being without either. "Rory, are you here?" Lorelai screams. Rory shouts that she's getting her coat. "Oh, can I watch?" Lorelai asks. Rory asks if Paris is out there. "She sure is." Rory: "Come on in." Lorelai leaves. Paris asks Doyle what's his damage. Doyle: "You look so hot when you find me annoying." Paris: "Then I must be Gisele Bündchen to you twenty-four/seven."

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Gilmore Girls

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