Gilmore Girls
Emily Says Hello

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The Blame Game

Lorelai takes a deadbeat dad break and calls Christopher. Doesn't it always look like they've built Christopher's set on a three-by-three square? He's always trapped in this one light, by a couch he doesn't quite sit on, and he looks uncomfortable. Lorelai says he thought perhaps Christopher turned Amish, so she couldn't make any calls until Rumspringa. That joke doesn't even really mean what she thinks it means, since it relates to Christopher's avoiding her, so I assume that once someone puts "Ramadan" in a script, she really wants to work in a "Rumspringa" joke as well. Also, this season has had quite a number of jokes at the expense of different religious groups, huh? From the Pagans to the Christians to the Muslims -- nobody's safe in Stars Hollow! Christopher is very busy these days, which might explain the polka dot tie and plaid shirt. He says he's not too busy. There's no baby that we can see. It's oddly quiet where Lorelai is, too, as she chatters on about how Sookie, "the crazy slut," got herself pregnant again. Christopher looks like he's in hell as he stammers a half-assed apology for not calling Lorelai. She asks him about five hundred times if this is a bad time to call because clearly he doesn't want to be talking to her, but Lorelai won't just get off the phone because she is the most important thing in everyone's lives. Christopher couldn't be more evasive and uncomfortable on the phone. It goes on for a really long time, the stammering and pushing, the small talk and awkward chitchat. Finally, Lorelai takes the hint and tries to hang up, but Christopher interrupts to say that he only called her before because he was desperate. Oh, thanks. He says he shouldn't have bothered her, and he won't do it again. Lorelai tells him he can call any time he wants: "We've got bonds, baby. Just try to break 'em." They immediately make plans to have lunch together this Saturday. Jesus, Christopher. Your daughter asks for one thing in life. One thing, and you have to be the same disappointing, selfish schmuck.

Rory is in the poolhouse. Richard can't find anything to serve this "elegant young lady." That would be because she and her punk-ass friends ate and drank Richard out of house and...pool, just last indeterminate period this show uses as time. Rory explains that she and Lorelai split up duty with Richard and Emily so that they could spend more undivided attention on them. Richard's fridge contains only batteries and Nutella. I do believe that's how I survived my freshman year of college. Dude. There's a fireplace in the poolhouse. That's the coolest thing I've ever seen. Rory asks Richard if he thinks this is his permanent residence. She says that it's fun to shake things up a little, throw some paint on the house, move some furniture, go blond, but then afterward it's best to go back to something that's comfortable. Something he depended on for forty years. Ripping off corporations through insurance scams? Humiliating customer-service people? Publicly degrading his daughter? Seeing Pennilyn Lott on the side? Oh. She means Emily. "You're a lovely girl" is Richard's only answer. "I have good genes," says Rory. Lorelai has good jeans. Just as important. I don't know how or why Richard has a frozen pizza in his freezer, but he does. Richard worries that the pizza has been in the freezer since Lorelai's tenth birthday party. Rory does love it when a man scrapes together whatever he can find to feed her. Maybe if Rory learned how to cook something, this wouldn't keep happening to her. Richard takes the pizza out of the box but doesn't remove the wrapper. Don't eat the pizza, y'all.

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Gilmore Girls

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